Apparently I suck at drag racing...

You're not alone.
Last Sunday I took my Dart to the MegaMopar show and race at Bandimere speedway.
Payed for both show and race since it was only 5 buck more. And I really wanted to see what the Dart would
do with the new 5.9 in it.
Car is 5.9 basically stock rebuild, with airgap and 600cmf eddy, dougs headers, 2.5" exhaust. 8-3/4" rear with 3:23's pegleg, no suregrip, and T/A radials.
This was my first time racing

First run, lots of tire spin, then on the 2-3 shift when i hit the ratchet shifter, seemed like it didn't shift, so I let off a little and hit it again. yep, thats neutral, pulled it back to drive and got on it. Result, 16.9 at 81mph (this is a 1/4" mile track)

Second run, I just put her in drive and let it shift. Tried to leave the line a little easier and then get in it. Result, 15.9 at 88mph (dropped 1 second and gained 7 mph. Cool!

First elimination run, in drive, panicked and just nailed the throttle of the line, spun the right rear what seemed like 50-75 foot, had to let off and then get back into it. Result, I lost time was back in the 16's and 82 mph I think. I had a head start cause the other guy had a faster car, but he didnt catch me until right at the end. If I hadn't been spinning so much I would have made it to the second round at least. But its a cruiser, not really setup for drag racing.

Oh, and my reaction time got worse on each run. Started at .66, then .73, and then .8 something.