Death

At age 70 I believe your feelings are perfectly normal. When we are young, we tend to think we are invincible. Now we know we are not and admit it. Last Sept. I awaited triple heart bypass. I had physical every year and really for what, I had 2 arteries 98% blocked and did not have a clue. I asked God , if it be His will, to let me heal and mend, to be there for my wife as she needs me. If not, I was good with that too.
My parents, aunts, uncles, some cousins have passed. 30% of the kids I graduated HS has passed. It does not scare me, it makes me sad.
For the military people and those that suffer from depression, or any mental problem, let me say this.. My dad went thru 4 yrs of WW11 and 1 in Korea. He got out, and I remember at age 9 him walking the floor all night, night after night, crying out of control, and my mother telling him he had to come out of it, he had a small child to raise. He had to. He was sent to shock treatment for as thy called it, nervous breakdown. I said he had to snap out of it, he could not take that again. He recovered. He raised me. He loved his family. I could ask for nothing more.
My take on life is our Creator simply lets us borrow this world for awhile, and everything in it, be land, cars, money, whatever, family and friends. We can usually stand to lose material things, but friends and family, that is so very hard.
I find strength in my Faith. Without it, I feel I would feel very very weak.