Bad weekend.

Terrible to hear. Condolences to all.

I’m sorry for your loss. Losing a loved one goes much deeper than we realize or can express.
IMO and past experience you’re doing just what needs to be done.
Talk and share your loss with others. Understand others can’t provide anything but sympathy and a listening ear. Sometimes someone will respond with a dumb response. It’s not done intentional just a knee jerk response to death, don’t take it personal.
Revisit all the good times, experiences and stories. Yes, it will cause pain and tears, but it’s more important to get and move your emotions outward.
Many years ago a close friend experienced a similar death of his brother. It wasn’t until he understood that his brother saw no other escape (way out) from his pain/suffering that he chose to take his life that my friend was able to accept his brother’s death. Initially he and his family blamed it on themselves.
“If only, I/we had.....”
If you think back you might now see or recall a subtle call for help in hindsight. It’s critical we all become better listeners, but above all better (non-judgemental) friends to all those around us. Many have never grown up in an “open” expressive “loving” environment.
My heart and love goes out to you and your family. Although we don’t know each other we’re all part of the human family. I’ll remember you and your family in my prayers.
Sincerely,
Todd
God bless.