Some good things happening...

Not many of you folks like me....and this very well may be the final nails in my coffin...but I honestly could not care less. Robert...I kept my mouth shut when you married a much younger girl. I should not have.
Let me tell you what I went thru...and what 4 mental health providers all told me.
I married a young girl, she was right out of college. Up to that point she had either been under the control of her parents, or an extremely controlling boyfriend. Lisa and I fought like fire and gasoline. The fights were on both of us.
Got married anyway. Moved out of Jersey, had to get away from my psychotic racist mother...the one that years later couldn't believe I was "marrying the ******* spic".
Anyways....Lisa decided that due to her past she had "missed out" on a lot of things. The going out with her girlfriends. Going to bars after work. You know....the things that folks with no real responsibilities do. Not saying that folks with responsibility's to go out and enjoy themselves but...she did not see the reason for her to be home alone when she could be out at a bar, drinking with her co-workers. We all know what happens to the majority of young folks when alcohol is mixed in...their inhibitions go right out the window. The "damn, I sure did miss out on a lot of fun" thoughts kick in. The "he will never know if I go and bang this dude thoughts" start.
And being a "young, modern woman" means "empowerment". Means I can have it all. The security of a good man that busts his *** for me...a nice roof over my ***..and the ability to do what I "want".
Fast forward a bit...and Lisa starts acting a bit out of character. Doing things sexually with me that she normally was dead set against. Would go to hold her hand in public and she would pull back. I was so ******* stupid to not see all the warning signs...she was spending almost every night out with her "girl friends". Going with her friend Lynn to the some beach on California once a month, the weeks I worked Saturday & Sunday.
**** came full circle. She wanted a divorce. I found out for 2 year she was banging this Dude, Bert. That her weekends with Lynn happened once, all the other she was with Bert. All the nights out with her "girl friends", she was in a hotel with Bert...who was also married. So I did what I was good at. One thing about being bi-polar..at least for me back then was I was a very vengeful son of a *****. Found a very shrewd attorney and stuck it to her. Keep in mind the very first thing I told Lisa was not to **** with me...I don't play well with others. In the end she was divorced, signed away all the equity in our house and a piece of land that was worth 50k all with the verbal agreement that I would take on all the debt for her giving up her "equity". Well...keep in mind we lived in AZ, which is a Community Property state...what is hers is mine and what is mine is hers.....not only property but debt....she had signed on the bottom line of about 90k worth of unsecured debt. I offered to file BK with her before the divorce, she said no, that our agreement relieved her of all debt. My attorney tried to explain to her that was not true.
Fast forward some more, the BK went thru. She is in Iowa, married to Bert...and the creditors came a knocking.
Enough about my bullshit. I sat here, a while back talking with my wife about you and Karla...and told Ernie that I would bet a months worth of my income that at some point the "modern day woman" would take over your young bride..and she would do what the "modern day woman" does. I feel bad for not saying nothing way back when...when we were emailing each other on a regular basis...but there are some things that I feel I should not stick my nose in...and your marriage was one of them.
I am truly sorry that you were having a rough go of things. And if I am wrong about your young bride please do accept my apologies.
But let me finish with this. When things finally settled down with Lisa we had a normal, civil conversation. She asked if I remembered about 2 years prior to us getting divorced, the day she mentioned that maybe we should go our own ways. Of which I did...well she told me that is when the **** with Bert started...and at that point she had told Bert that she wanted to make our marriage work...but her break up with Bert lasted all of about a week...and she was right back to banging the dude. If I remember right your young bride has came and gone several times...not saying she is doing what Lisa did.....
I truly hope you put your life together, in whatever way is best for YOU.
In closing...one of Lisa's friends found me on Facebook. Sent me a friend request. Messaged me, asking how "we" were doing. I explained the whole thing. Told her Lisa's maiden name. Turns out Lisa is on Facebook. This woman started chatting with her and in passing mentioned in an email that Lisa's marriage with Bert lasted a whole 18 months.....she cheated on him and he caught her red handed...in their bed.
Best of luck....to anyone who is offended by what I said...well, you will get over it...and for those that disagree with me...not going to argue with you. If you want to argue over my comments about the "modern day woman" perhaps one of the head docs I seen over the years would be willing to argue with you...