I have to buy a boring car.

this would be my suggestion. IF you are going to spend a lot of time sitting in the car (or spend a lot of your life there :) ), why not take a small cut in fuel for comfort and enjoyment. Something like an AWD charger or AWD Challenger with a 3.6 V6. Plenty of power, style, comfort, and mpg should be in the upper twenties... 27 mpg?? AWD would serve in the snow as well. Also, 4000+ lbs car should offer safety as well.

Don't get the title... "I HAVE to buy a boring car".. :D

If I get a charger it’s going to be a V8. I have seriously considered that but my budget is around $700 including fuel. I’ll be driving between 500 and 1000 miles a week.