Guess that tool ( northern version)

norshorblufish said
No you use it up here in the north in the winter to pry your froze butt cheeks apart so you can take a dump.

Froze butt cheeks ? who's been licking your butt cheeks ? they're not a flag pole .
Reminds me of the time that girl in Alberta got her tongue stuck to the flag pole at 40 below , I walked funny for a month .