Butt dialing....But what do you call it if the phone is in the FRONT pocket?

My life is in shambles. I have no cell-phone and nobody calls me on the land line. I have so much time, and nothing to do. Not. I'd like to feel sorry for you guys, but I just can't find it in me,lol.
Cell phones, and electric fans in my Barracuda, are two things I will never have. Well those and a million dollars,lol.
Ok I do feel sorry for you, you realize you all are cooking your brains with them microwaves,right.And irradiating your swimmers, if you dare carry the phone too close there. At least that's what the internet says.
Now you know why women are getting