Want to pose a question

didnt read through all this so sorry if im repeating others, but what do you want to do...bail or fix the leak?

i dont think spouses should have separate accounts but in this case it might partially work
the real problem is her spending or her inability to balance a checkbook
so until you fix the problem, the second account is simply a band aid

now, the real problem is you "going behind her back" by opening this account and i can imagine it makes her feel like a child