Want to pose a question

I took a second look at your comments before I posted the one above and it got me some insight as to where your head is . I think you are keeping score financially . This is a control issue . I may be wrong on this . I have no solutions , only suggestions . A lot of the other commentators are telling you what works for them . This may or may not be helpful . Everyone is different and manages differently . Please sit down with her and discuss the issue in a loving and non-accusing way and attempt to resolve it . It may not work the first time but keep at it . Same with the kids . Be united in your approach to them. Parents who have expectations of their children (behavior/hygiene/chores/education/etc) have happier results .