I try to slap my wife's plump bottom several times a day just to watch the ripples. I mean feel the ripples. It's a ritual. It started in 1976. I slap her, and she calls me a pervert. I squeeze the jello, and I'm still a pervert. I cop a feel and I'm still a pervert. I steal a peek down her blouse, and you guessed it, I'm a pervert. This is going on for 43 years now, so, by now, I must be about the biggest pervert on the face of the Earth.
