Well the 4 pin should work. If it doesn't either the ECU is bad, you are not grounding it, maybe a bad harness pin connector. The crossed wires on the distributor don't matter so far as "getting a spark." If the pickup wires are crossed, this moves the spark event in relation to the rotor, IE "rotor phasing."
It also might be that due to the Chineseoizationized aftermarket, the "new" 4 pin need a bit more trigger power. And it might be that the distributor/ connector/ magnet/ gap is such that it is right on the border line.
If you can, scare up a different distributor
If you have a tach, try disconnecting that. Make sure there is NOT a radio supression cap connected to coil NEG. It goes to the pos. terminal.
Other than that, "I got nuttin"
