You know when the thought just, accidentally, slips out of your mouth?

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Dartthunder340

Dartthunder340

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My wife was talking about something and I tuned in quick enough to hear her say ‘...my shoulder has been bothering me, but I just don’t complain about it.’ I instantly blurted ‘because you complain about everything else?’ Guess I’ll watch Tombstone while I’m settling in on the couch. :lol:
 
Many of us have let one slip and either hurt or pissed off the woman.
Once when I was with the first Wife.....I was nibbling on her belly. She asked..."What the heck are you doing?"
I'm just chewing the fat.
She was NOT pleased.
 
Kern Dog said:
Many of us have let one slip and either hurt or pissed off the woman.
Once when I was with the first Wife.....I was nibbling on her belly. She asked..."What the heck are you doing?"
I'm just chewing the fat.
She was NOT pleased.
Click to expand...

LOL literally !
 
Teenage slips of the tongue on my part:

Before I knew it, I had referred to a girl I was dating as a "dog", she immediately began punishing me with the silent treatment.

Called another girl a "*****" and received my one and only slap in the face.
 
The filter between my brain and mouth is next to non-existent so this is common place. I used to suffer from very poor impulse control. I have this "thing" about females with slender necks....I want to strangle them. One night at work there was a bunch of us standing around, just bsing. Our boss walks up to me and stands right in front of me. My boss and I were on very good terms & she was well aware of mental health troubles. She started talking to me and I just reached up and grabbed her by the throat...and started squeezing...my wife was sitting there, she just put her head in her hands and looked at the floor...lol...
 
I'm standing there.
The deacon and his wife tell the preacher and his wife they "just got back from California, the land of fruits and nuts".

I add: "And the sun shines on everything except gerbils".
Bunch of odd looks from them.
I made a hasty exit.
 
Two psychiatrists meet on the street after not seeing each other for a while. “How are you?” asks one. “Eh, not so good,” says the other. “I had a stupid misunderstanding, a slip of the tongue.

The first one says “Well, that’s pretty common. What did you say?”

The other one answers “I was having lunch with my wife and I when I meant to ask her to pass me the salt, I accidentally said, ‘You ******* ***** you ruined my life.’”
 
My third wife told me her head was flat on top one day, several years later when we split up and just as I was leaving I told her I had figured out why she had that flat spot on the top of her head........She looked at me and asked me what it was from...............I told her it was from all the headboards it had banged against!:rofl:
 
Kern Dog said:
Many of us have let one slip and either hurt or pissed off the woman.
Once when I was with the first Wife.....I was nibbling on her belly. She asked..."What the heck are you doing?"
I'm just chewing the fat.
She was NOT pleased.
Click to expand...

Thanks, I had a great laugh at that !
 
inkjunkie said:
The filter between my brain and mouth is next to non-existent so this is common place. I used to suffer from very poor impulse control. I have this "thing" about females with slender necks....I want to strangle them. One night at work there was a bunch of us standing around, just bsing. Our boss walks up to me and stands right in front of me. My boss and I were on very good terms & she was well aware of mental health troubles. She started talking to me and I just reached up and grabbed her by the throat...and started squeezing...my wife was sitting there, she just put her head in her hands and looked at the floor...lol...
Click to expand...

Ok ....... that’s a little scary....
 
Just remember this fact, WOMEN never forget anything you say , (that is regretful!!) And they will remember the date, the time of day, and what she had for lunch that day!
 
barbee6043 said:
Just remember this fact, WOMEN never forget anything you say , (that is regretful!!) And they will remember the date, the time of day, and what she had for lunch that day!
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Im sorry ... what were you saying ? Lol

You only need 3-4 words/phrases.... Im sorry , uhuh , really? , hmmm ... and No kidding?

With a little practice you can carry on a 3 hour conversation.
 
I got that beat; I got a den, and when I get home I go straight into it. I don't see her 'til she retires when I give a quick kiss and a squeeze. She retires at 9:30, but me at 1:00. She's up at 5 me at 7. Sometimes I barely see her for days. After 42 years it's working pretty good for us I think. Right now she's away on holiday, I haven't seen her in over a week. She might come home next Monday... whatever....dear.
I learned to cook and do laundry, and I don't shower for several days,just like in hi-school; it's come full-circle.
 
AJ/FormS said:
I got that beat; I got a den, and when I get home I go straight into it. I don't see her 'til she retires when I give a quick kiss and a squeeze. She retires at 9:30, but me at 1:00. She's up at 5 me at 7. Sometimes I barely see her for days. After 42 years it's working pretty good for us I think. Right now she's away on holiday, I haven't seen her in over a week. She might come home next Monday... whatever....dear.
I learned to cook and do laundry, and I don't shower for several days,just like in hi-school; it's come full-circle.
Click to expand...

You a DOG ! :)
 
Gentlemen, gentlemen always engage brain before commenting on something the wife says, As Barbee said, they never, ever forget what our comments are & they will always be used against you at any given time.
 
barbee6043 said:
Just remember this fact, WOMEN never forget anything you say , (that is regretful!!) And they will remember the date, the time of day, and what she had for lunch that day!
Click to expand...

I've heard this so many times growing up I make it a point to memorize what people say, especially women! There's plenty one could hold against me but forgetting what I said shouldn't be one of them. Drives me nuts repeating myself btw. Way too many times I'm talking to someone and I KNOW I told them something already but ugh... gotta say it again!
 
Demonracer said:
Gentlemen, gentlemen always engage brain before commenting on something the wife says, As Barbee said, they never, ever forget what our comments are & they will always be used against you at any given time.
Click to expand...

Well what happens if you say something and (((they))) hear something else.

I ain't figured a way around that yet.
 
mbaird said:
Ok ....... that’s a little scary....
Click to expand...
Everyday the first thing this young lady did when she got into our work area was stop by and visit with me for a few minutes. The day after I put my hands on her was a bit awkward, to say the least.
 
The other day Mt GF did sumpin' to really piss me off, I said to her "that's one", she says, what's that mean? so I tell her the story.
The farmer and his ol' lady are going to town about 12 miles away in a one horse carriage for supplies, they leave the house and git about 2 miles down the road and the horse starts bucking an raisin' hell.
The farmer gets out and walks up to the horse and slaps it up the side of the head and say's that's one. The farmer gets back in the buckboard and He and his ol' lady go about 2 more miles down the road and the horse starts to buck and shake and tries to spit the bit, the farmer gits out again and walks up to the horse knocks it right between the eyes and says that's two,they travel on, another mile or so the same S__t, the farmer get's out again, walks up to the horse and shoots it right between the eyes, the horse drops dead, the farmer walks back to the buckboard, hops up and the ol' lady is screaming bloody murder, "ya stupid SOB, ya just shot the horse, how we gonna get to town and back, your one dumb SOB, why did I ever marry your stupid ***!. The farmer turns to her with deadpan eyes and says, "That's One"
 
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inkjunkie said:
Everyday the first thing this young lady did when she got into our work area was stop by and visit with me for a few minutes. The day after I put my hands on her was a bit awkward, to say the least.
Click to expand...

I bet it was !
 
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