My wife accidentally ruined my childhood

No wonder my immune system is so prolific!!! I never get sick, NEVER!! I drank millions of gallons of water from the garden hose when I was growing up. I also drank plenty of water from those old porcelain fountains (back in the 50s and 60s), I remember seeing green slime growing around the squirter hole where the water would shoot out......Mmmmm, yum, yum!!!!