Sending first kid off to college

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pishta

I know I'm right....
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It took all of me to keep it together when I gave my boy a final hug before leaving him at college. We drove him there Friday morning and helped him move his minimalist 1 bag and 2 crates of supplies into his dorm room. He was the first in so I told him to take the back bed: away from the door and noisy walkway, it had the outward facing window and was close to the shower. We got him squared away and set up his desk, made his rack and walked him though setting up his resume for an on campus paying job. Had lunch and dinner with him on campus and finally said our goodbyes. I could feel the emotions welling up so I took a step back and let mom cut in and say hers. I gave him the nod and turned away to hide the tears that were now streaming down. He's a good kid at a Christian college, a dry campus and without a car for the freshmen, everything he needs is there...what could happen? But I could tell he was overwhelmed with the thought that he wouldn't be eating with us anymore a the table or watching the Angels or Lakers lose with his Dad and Mom. No more catch in the backyard, no more dog at his feet when he played MLB on his Xbox for a half hour after we all went to bed. I thought about it today at work and realize its just another step in life: to learn to be self starting, responsible, keep a time schedule. To balance study, social and play time. I think we did the right thing, even as he asked his mom when I stepped away "I think I'm not ready for this..." Mom told him everyone is probably feeling the same way right now and it will be a new day tomorrow when he meets his roommate (from Detroit) and finally starts doing things as a student and not a visitor. I told him we wouldn't text or call him until he reaches out to us, to give him some space and let him settle in with his new family at school. I'm dying to hear from him: to ask how he is, how he's adjusting to his new life.. but I will see him in 3 weeks when he returns for a friends birthday party and Ill be sure to catch up with all his news. Then the long 15 minute drive back to campus....its 7 miles away!


:lol:
 
Is he now a Biola Bob? ;-)
(I grew up close to there - if he is, tell him to give the disc golf course at La Mirada Regional Park a go - free fun and exercise)
 
Boy, can I relate to how you felt.
My daughter (the oldest of our blended family kids) was the first to leave for college. I cried like a baby in the shower the morning we took her to the airport to catch her flight to Kansas (KU) where she had a full-ride softball scholarship waiting for her.
Her mom and I split up when my daughter was only seven and I was a full-time single dad for eight years before I remarried. We were really close since I was both parents for several years and was always involved in helping coach her various softball teams up until she headed to Kansas.
Enjoy the fact that your son is so close to home even though he's living in the dorm at school.
It was a long way from SoCal to Kansas and I only got to see my daughter when she came home for either the holidays or KU came to SoCal for softball.
 
He's going to Concordia University, Irvine. Its a small school About 3 miles from UCI (University of Chinese Immigrants) Called that due to almost a 40% Asian student body.
 
I too cried like a baby when our daughter went to college (U of M) 7 years ago. As you said, just another step in life. After graduation she was recruited by Kellogg (1st in Boston, now in Chicago).

When our son left 5 years ago, for his Albion College career, it was also a cry fest. He graduated in 2018 and moved to Boston and is working (as a program manager) for the College Diabetes Network, where interned for them during the 2017 summer. He is a Type-1 Diabetic so we were a lot more concerned about the "college life" for him.

Both "kids" are truly a blessing. Visits together are farther apart then we'd like, but they are cherished.
 
That's the first one, by the time you get to the fifth it's see ya.....lol
I don't need to wonder where the money went.
 
Yup, my wife and I were both trying to keep it together when we left our daughter after getting her settled in to residence her first year. She was still 17 and 3 hours away. I'll never forget that last look and wave , a big( I'm kinda scared) smile from her and off she went thru the door. Picked her up on major holidays and home for the summers. Now 20 and in her 3rd year of university. She has grown so much being on her own, we are very proud of her. Its definitely a life changing situation for all involved. I'm sure your son will love it once he gets into his new routine.
 
Man how times have changed, I was dropped off at MCRD San Diego, I didn't have the grades or money for college.
I encouraged my son's to get a college education, two did and my youngest decided to become a jarhead.
 
Man how times have changed, I was dropped off at MCRD San Diego, I didn't have the grades or money for college.
I encouraged my son's to get a college education, two did and my youngest decided to become a jarhead.

Hell yeah, Brother! I remember that day also, same situation, mediocre grades and no college funds 'cause I knew I wanted to be a Marine instead of a college preppie....My friend got me trashed the night before and at 0400, I was still tanked when I met the recruiter at the curb in front of our condo. Parents waved me off, I got in the back of the Ford Taurus and fell back asleep. We picked up 2 more guys and drove 90 minutes to the San Diego MEPS (Military Entrance Processing Station) and after a day of physicals, tests, paperwork and other BS, we Marines got on the bus for the short ride to MCRD, Some Sailors got on a different bus and went across the airport to the Navy training center, while the Army and Air Force guys went to the SD airport to fly out to their basics. Hey, we got to graduate in 14 weeks!
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Dry campus? lol yeah right!
I was waiting for that one....I think this one is overtly dry. At least it's the most straight laced school around here. I work all day around CSU Long Beach, and the off campus student housing is a haze of pot smoke and beer cans on Saturdays.
 
Hell yeah, Brother! I remember that day also, same situation, mediocre grades and no college funds 'cause I knew I wanted to be a Marine instead of a college preppie....My friend got me trashed the night before and at 0400, I was still tanked when I met the recruiter at the curb in front of our condo. Parents waved me off, I got in the back of the Ford Taurus and fell back asleep. We picked up 2 more guys and drove 90 minutes to the San Diego MEPS (Military Entrance Processing Station) and after a day of physicals, tests, paperwork and other BS, we Marines got on the bus for the short ride to MCRD, Some Sailors got on a different bus and went across the airport to the Navy training center, while the Army and Air Force guys went to the SD airport to fly out to their basics. Hey, we got to graduate in 14 weeks!
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I wanted to be a Marine, but sadly, wasn't good enough, turned squid, did get to carry Ya around on an LPH.
 
Pishta We are at Humboldt State now. Daughter's move in to the dorm is tomorrow, her 3 best friends are already moved into the quad they will be living in. I to joined the Corps due to lack of funds for a college edumacation (wasn't the brightest in class either, just didn't apply myself enough, worked in auto shop the hardest lol). Have to say it was some of the best years of my life plus got me out of Detroit and out to SoCal.
Kevin
 
Damn I'm old, my second son whent into the Air Force out of high School then got a job after the Air Force. Finally at age thirty five figured out that a degree in chasing skirt and drinking beer wasn't enough he got a degree as a surgical nurse. About time.
 
By
Peggy Noonan
Aug. 29, 2019 7:29 pm ET

We feel the coolness of the mornings now. The school year has begun. Students are entering or returning to colleges and universities with a busy buzz of hope and anticipation.

The only way to begin any new endeavor is with a sense of excitement about life.

In connection to that, Anthony Kronman has a bracing book on American higher education, its purposes and problems. Mr. Kronman, a professor and former dean at Yale Law School, observes the academy in which he’s spent his career and doesn’t like everything he sees. He is generally progressive yet opposes the leveling produced by the steamroller of prevalent political, cultural and educational attitudes. It is a rich book, densely argued. I want to call it a cry of the heart, but it’s more like a cry of the brain, a calm and erudite one.


I focus on two points. One is an idea that has largely been lost, that was once so broadly held that it barely had to be voiced, and on which he performs a rousing rescue operation.

It is that higher education is a fundamentally moral enterprise whose purpose is to help students become better human beings. Universities should be devoted to not only the “transmission of skills” but the “shaping of souls.” Part of their great work “is to preserve, transmit and honor an aristocratic tradition of respect for human greatness.”

Higher education now tends toward specialized disciplines and “the accumulation of ever more recondite knowledge.” The core curriculum is largely gone; educators have no confidence in a required canon of great works. Mr. Kronman argues, echoing Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr. , that students need to be directed toward the great questions as expressed in science, philosophy and art.

“Could it be,” he asks, “that there are better and worse ways of living—that there are grades of excellence in the work of being human—even if there is no single way that is demonstrably the best of all? Could it be that there is a form of education that increases a student’s chances of becoming an excellent human being, just as there are educational programs for those who want to be outstanding flute players and mechanics? And could it be that those who receive an education in human excellence are . . . better equipped to play a special and needed role in our democracy?”

Yes, he says. He praises the humanities, which “put the question of the meaning of life at the center of attention.” Among them: “What is love? Does death make life meaningless or is it, in Wallace Stevens ’ words, ‘the mother of beauty’?” “To what extent can we transcend the circumstances of our birth and join the company of others, living and dead, whose social, political and psychological situation is remote from our own? Does modern science illuminate the human condition or obscure it? And perhaps most important, among the diverse examples of lives in which these questions have been pursued with unusual courage and clarity . . . is there one or some that might serve as an inspiration for my own?” A statesman or saint whose life you just read? A poet, a physicist?

Even to consider such an education involves believing certain things. First, “that there is such a thing as character; that a person’s character can be better or worse; that character is shaped by education; and that one of the goals of higher education is to instill in the student a love of those things for which a person of fine character should care.”


The vocational approach, in contrast, involves the idea that life is all about work and the business of higher education is to prepare you for a profession. This approach ranks students, but in a limited way: It abstains on the question of who the student is. It has a restricted sense of excellence. It asks, Kronman says, “What do I need to learn to be a successful lawyer or computer scientist?” and ignores the more important, “What makes a whole life honorable and fulfilling?”

Wouldn’t you feel better if your son or daughter had gone off to study things like this?

Mr. Kronman offers a calm-minded perspective on the controversies colleges have been facing over the removal of statues and the renaming of buildings named for those who were admired by their contemporaries and now are seen as especially destructive sinners. The controversies usually focus on race and slavery. As I read Mr. Kronman’s book this week, NPR was reporting on universities taking down the pictures of their distinguished scientists who were white males. At Rockefeller University a visiting Rachel Maddow had asked: “What is up with the Dude Wall?” Everyone on it had won a Nobel Prize or Lasker Award. Yet the wall will be rearranged or redesigned, and other schools are following suit. The assumption is that the portraits send a message that to be thought great you must be white and male. This is assumed to be disheartening for the young. I wonder why it is not instigating of achievement. When I joined an overwhelmingly white male profession my thoughts ran more along the lines of “I’ll show you!” Which was human if not especially admirable. A more admirable response would have been, “One day, gentlemen, I’ll join you on that wall and, by expanding the parameters of achievement, inspire the young.”

Mr. Kronman comes down on the side of addition, not subtraction—for building new memorials, not toppling old ones. He’d like more context. But essentially he asks: Why erase history? Why not face it? Are we really “disfigured by emblems of unrighteousness”? Must everything be leveled and scrubbed clean?

He quotes Milan Kundera ’s “The Book of Laughter and Forgetting”:

“You begin to liquidate a people by taking away its memory. You destroy its books, its culture, its history. And then others write other books for it, give another culture to it, invent another history for it. Then the people slowly begins to forget what it is and what it was.”

Do we want to forget what it is and was?
 
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