A question about etiquette ...What to expect for a day of helping people?

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RSie said:
Sounds like a plan. I'll bring beer, but it'll be just plain old Keystone light or Bud Light... ya want that 'specialty beer", that ain't happenin. No, I'm not paying $6 bucks a bottle for your damn pumpkin spice nut crunch ale brew.
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I am not picky about beer I prefer whiskey and even cheep whiskey is good enough for me.
I was born broke and my taste buds could care less.
 
Over the years ive put up a few rules for helping people out
1, we do it at my house. I had a friend ask me once to help do his brakes, and he assured me he had all the tools I needed, and he sure did IF I WAS BUILDING A BIRDHOUSE.
not a single mechanic's tool to be found, no sockets, no wrenches, not even a crescent
I learned from that one

2 if I'm in charge, I'm the ONLY ONE in charge
A few years ago I had given a used car to my brother in law, simply because i had bought the wife a nicer, newer mopar
Wasn't anything wrong with the old car, we just didnt need it anymore.
My brother in law asked me if I didnt mind doing all the maintenance on it. I said sure, but if I find out someone else is touching this car, it's his problem and I'm out.

One day he tells me the car is running rough and can I take a look at it. Sure, no problem. So I pop the hood and notice something. You see, i always buy spark plug wires at auto zone, with a life time warranty and i KNOW i had done plugs and wires on that car before.
So I open the hood, see the two mismatched plug wires, closed the hood and went back inside.
You knew the rules, you broke the rules, have the greasemonkey that put those junkyard wires on fix it

When I closed that had, was the last time I ever touched that car.


But its not all bad
I was helping a friends friend out one day
She had hit who knows what and had some front end damage (on her car, her front end looked just fine)
A few hours into it her kid comes out and brings me a sandwich, chicken on whitebread... and I'm up to my elbows in grease

Didnt matter, it still tastes fine
 
Jadaharabi said:
Someone asking you for help is not necessarily a gift that you are giving.

It's just like when somebody walks into your barn, there are certain rules that are followed.
One is you don't go touching the face of every horse you see without having first ask permission.
Another is you don't go feeding them treats or feeding them at all without first asking permission.

If you go to somebody's place and you wind up spending hours helping them you have a right to have an expectation of being treated decently.
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If you agree to free help, it's a gift. Perhaps more valuable than any other, because it is actual time that is irreplaceable.
 
I worked on my buddy's car for literally ten minutes the other day. He came back later with a case of beer. Totally unexpected and unneccessary.
 
Hey Kern, this thread reminds me that you haven't given me any free 66 dart stuff in months!!! Also, now that I've moved, who is gonna help me build this car?? What am I supposed to build it by myself??? :rofl:
 
hosehead said:
Hey Kern, this thread reminds me that you haven't given me any free 66 dart stuff in months!!! Also, now that I've moved, who is gonna help me build this car?? What am I supposed to build it by myself??? :rofl:
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You have that other junk you can work on:lol:
 
Kern Dog said:
So guess what our grand payment was for our efforts.....
5 1/2 hours, ONE bottle of water.
Yeah....
NO food, NO beer, NO snacks, NO thanks until I told him near the end that he should have been thanking us and offering to pay. I was kidding about the money. I was absolutely NOT kidding about the thanks.
In my experience, the guy getting the help always offers food and drinks, BEER if the guys want it.
I would have refused money.
I would have not refused food. The Wife is flat out pissed to see me help a guy this clueless. Its as if he is a Social Savant...He is either clueless as to social protocol or is a cheap and thoughtless prick.
I am always getting people asking for help with something. If it isn't an all day thing, I'm willing to lend a hand. I see it as karma....Maybe God and the universe sees my efforts and somehow good fortune will come my way.
I have GOT to learn how to say no to people without feeling guilty about it.
This guy bit off waaaaaay more than he could chew and is leaning on everyone he can to build this car. Some time ago he wanted to rebuild the front suspension and convert it to disc brakes. I told him that I would do one side, let him watch and then he would do the other side. All I heard is you are so much stronger, I don't have the endurance that you do and other excuses. The whole story of Tom Sawyer and fence painting came to mind.
The guy had no 1/2" drive tools. You need these for suspension and steering work.
He couldn't figure out how to install torsion bars. He couldn't get the grease boots on. He was able to put the C clips in at the torsion bar crossmember though.
Today we put the engine and headers in, set the 2' level across the valve covers and rocked the engine around until it was level then I hung around about a half hour thinking he would offer to get sandwiches or a pizza.
No, we each got a bottle of water.
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In the service, we had to ‘train’ many, many youth social etiquette. Some of the most brilliant ones could complete essay tests in thermodynamics, hydro-mechanics, physics, electric & circuit math-but often fail to simply zip up their pants after using the urinal-let alone the most awful social skills.

I once bitched and ranted on this forum years ago that a young sailor came to work unprepared to stand watch (security) outdoors and demanded that we provide him with a coat when the Navy paid him and it was his responsibility to go and buy a matching jacket for his uniform. ( we have many,many uniforms). The leadership would not support me as middle management to make him go out and suffer his consequences. A perfect example of the social flaw in our society.

Some of the more valuable men still got in trouble fighting imaginary ninjas (in his late 20’s) talking to themselves out loud, and even the general rude, crude arguments and be completely self centered.

As long as they could memorize and regurgitate, perform under pressure, they got promoted...SMH

The sad and simple fact is that many people have children, but do not raise them, do not take the effort and hard path of disciplining their children.
My grandfather always talked smack to me that it would be a problem I would have to deal with, and it is much worse than the worst fools he dealt with.
 
Doing complete body and paint on my friends gen 1 bronco. The friend who helped me put the motor into my Barracuda and gap the doors after they were assembled.
Picking your friends is a critical skill.
 
DesertRat said:
Doing complete body and paint on my friends gen 1 bronco. The friend who helped me put the motor into my Barracuda and gap the doors after they were assembled.
Picking your friends is a critical skill.
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Good friends are hard to find the ones that take and keep taking are a dime a dozen.
 
The original question was what do I expect for helping someone for a day. I typically wouldn’t help someone for even a half day if they weren’t a real friend that would do the same for me or maybe someone else... so I wouldn’t expect much of anything.

Now this guy sounds like a one way street. I know some guys like that and when they ask for a favor I have some favor I need from them - this usually puts an end to things right there.
 
So you guys remember rule number 1?

One of my buddies called me today, needing some help
He was in the process of replacing swaybar bushings on some import
One of the bolts snapped off (the nut was welded into the I side of the frame)
He had gotten started on trying to get it out, drilled a small hole in the bottom of the frame, then drilled through what was left of the bolt and then he managed to break an easy-out off in the bolt...did I have something that could cut through the easy-out?

So my plan was, put a endmill in the dremel, go in through the hole on the bottom and slowly cut out the remains of the easy-out

It turned out the hole was to small to get the handle of the dremel in it, so that didnt work

We got lucky, and the tip of the easy-out was sticking out of the top of the frame, by about 1/8th of an inch
We were able to get a medium C clamp on it and pop that baby right out

The point of my story?
I had a C clamp, he didnt. If we had tried doing this at his house I might still be out there even now
 
diymirage said:
So you guys remember rule number 1?

One of my buddies called me today, needing some help
He was in the process of replacing swaybar bushings on some import
One of the bolts snapped off (the nut was welded into the I side of the frame)
He had gotten started on trying to get it out, drilled a small hole in the bottom of the frame, then drilled through what was left of the bolt and then he managed to break an easy-out off in the bolt...did I have something that could cut through the easy-out?

So my plan was, put a endmill in the dremel, go in through the hole on the bottom and slowly cut out the remains of the easy-out

It turned out the hole was to small to get the handle of the dremel in it, so that didnt work

We got lucky, and the tip of the easy-out was sticking out of the top of the frame, by about 1/8th of an inch
We were able to get a medium C clamp on it and pop that baby right out

The point of my story?
I had a C clamp, he didnt. If we had tried doing this at his house I might still be out there even now
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He's lucky to have a friend like you around and I would buy you a pizza for that.
 
I take pity on old guys in this hobby.
I am strong enough to carry transmissions and rear axles, (NOT Dana 60s!) doors, hoods, etc...I see some of these old guys struggle and I feel bad for them. Part of me thinks that by helping people, good fortune may come my way someday. Maybe a young guy will come along in 20 years to help me on a car.
I don't help people based on what I can get back from them. Most of the time, I help people because I like them.
Sometimes I help people that have something I can use but it isn't what I base my decisions on.
 
Fred Scigliano said:
He's lucky to have a friend like you around and I would buy you a pizza for that.
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No need, we go back and forth
I cant count the times we've helped each other out, but him and his brother are 2 of the 5 guys mentioned in post #70
spiral staircase for loft

We've known each other for decades
In fact, we grew up in the same bilingual Church
He left for the marines and lived in California for a while, I left when the Church went from being bilingual to only being spanish
He got out of the marines, moved back here and was looking for an english speaking church, so now him and his brother are worshipping at the same Church as my family is, kinda like old times (though we all agree, the potlucks were better before)
 
Kern Dog said:
I take pity on old guys in this hobby.
I am strong enough to carry transmissions and rear axles, (NOT Dana 60s!) doors, hoods, etc...I see some of these old guys struggle and I feel bad for them. Part of me thinks that by helping people, good fortune may come my way someday. Maybe a young guy will come along in 20 years to help me on a car.
I don't help people based on what I can get back from them. Most of the time, I help people because I like them.
Sometimes I help people that have something I can use but it isn't what I base my decisions on.
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Damn. I can't carry a 8 3/4? No I am on a 10# weight limit for another couple days after some open heart surgery. Wait till Friday, I will be able to hoist my small block without a cherry picker. LOL
 
After my Kidney surgery a few years ago I also had the Dr recommended weight limits. The Wife was pissed when I lifted a case of water from her trunk.
I also changed the trunklid on a 65 Dart project....I am not one to sit around though!
 
Kern Dog said:
After my Kidney surgery a few years ago I also had the Dr recommended weight limits. The Wife was pissed when I lifted a case of water from her trunk.
I also changed the trunklid on a 65 Dart project....I am not one to sit around though!
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I used to carry a 426 hemi block out of the garage and up the incline in my driveway to load in my pick up, now I wont even try to pick up a sbc block , probly could (sbc) , but think about back hurting or problems. It sucks getting old , but what`s the alternative !-------lol
 
famous bob said:
It sucks getting old , but what`s the alternative !-------lol
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Pretty good, if you have accepted Gods free gift of salvation, through forgiveness of sins in His son Jesus Christ

There is an older gentleman in our church (I forget his age, but he is a WWII veteran, served with the seabees in the Pacific theater)
One of his "catchphrases" is CHEER UP Christian, you'll be dead soon"
 
Kern Dog said:
After my Kidney surgery a few years ago I also had the Dr recommended weight limits. The Wife was pissed when I lifted a case of water from her trunk.
I also changed the trunklid on a 65 Dart project....I am not one to sit around though!
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Carrying things that require a two man lift will catch up with you. 8.75 housing is ok but add the pig and axles I draw the limit. If there’s a way to engineer a way to do the heavy lifting, I’m in. I’m at an age now that any injury remains a problem for quite some time, worse case a lifetime.
 
I agree. I'm still lifting heavy things at work but then...I am used to doing it every day. I do get help for lifting 727s if the converter is in there!
 
Kern Dog said:
I agree. I'm still lifting heavy things at work but then...I am used to doing it every day. I do get help for lifting 727s if the converter is in there!
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Ever see the contraption Del came up with?
It turns a regular cherry picker into a transmission lift
 
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