Some great one liners

Then there was the farmer who couldn't keep his hands off his wife.
So he fired them.

I was going out to the bar one winter night and just before i left, i told my wife to hurry up and put her coat on.
She was happy and said ''Oh, I'm so excited! You're finally taking me out with you to the bar!''
''No'' i said, ''I'm shutting off the heat until I get home.''

(Most women hate that joke, I don't know why..........)