Big *** Spider

I had a damn velvet ant in my driveway the other day. I was going to do some work on Rikki's car so I stomped him so I wouldn't get stung. I lifted my foot up and he carried on like nothing happened.

So I stomped him again.

Same reaction.

At this point, I knew my shoes were pretty slick on the bottom but I thought maybe he was getting lucky and landing in a tread groove or something, so I stomped, and then ground him out. Lifted my foot to find....

nothing. He disappeared like a David Copperfield trick. I looked all over, under my shoe, everywhere, and never found a corpse or an ant. I've been looking over my back ever since. Supposedly, these can reach an inch and a quarter long? No thanks!

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The sting is like nothing else in this universe. Even amputation without anesthesia.