What (who) Will I Become?

What you are soon gonna be, if you ain't already, is broke. Cuz your wife is gonna shower the daughter and her new son with every available nickle she can sneak out of your wallet, and no mercy for you if you don't cough it up. And you will get broker every year as the gifts keep getting more lavish and more expensive. Look forward to another 20 or more years of sliding on down to homelessness.
Start secreting some cash away right now, because before too long, you won't even be able to replace your holey socks.
Congrats on the handsome healthy addition.