Hood lock suggestions

I just pour old oil over everything and let the dirt cake on. Then I leave the hood open, like saying; "com'on I dare you". Nobody wants my junk,lol. I never lock the doors either.

Iknow, Iknow; yer only taking about an air-cleaner. But hey my money don't collect by itself either. And every buck I spend, like you, I had to work for. And whatever I bring onto the lil piece of dirt God gave me, falls under his protection, cuz really it is all his; I'm just a steward of it. One day,I told God; whatever I have is yours; do with it as you will. Since that day, nothing has ever walked off my yard, that wasn't born with legs. You know how much freedom that gives a person, to know that everything on "my" dirtpatch, that I touch, is not mine, but I have free access to use it for as long as I live, or as long as it remains on the dirtpatch, whichever comes first,lol!
Sometimes I sorta wish it would all just get up and walk away,lol.
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I seen a guy once, and his Challenger 318 , in a parking lot. He got down on his back, scootched under the front bumper and undid a lock, he got up, opened the hood and retrieved his towchain.... and some keys. Then walked around to the trunk and threw that clanky ship-anchor chain in there. Closed the trunk. Closed the hood. Unlocked the driver's door with the keys he had retrieved. Slid into his seat and unlocked his club, with the keys he had retrieved.
I thought to myself; if he ever got mugged 500 miles from home, and had his hoodchain -key swiped; there he would be, standing by his car crying, cuz even if the door was unlocked........ he wasn't driving it anywhere.
As for me, if I got mugged, they wouldn't get anything of value, cuz my car starts for me, even without a key. In fact, sometimes when I take off, the key flies out of the ignition, and later I have to retrieve it from somewhere in the back,lol. If someone wants my junk, they are gonna have to bring a flatbed tow-truck.
When I am in a foreign land, sojourning in a Motel, I call down two big angels from heaven,(I always ask for giants), just before I close my eyes; to guard and protect the things GodAlmighty has set me as steward over. Then I pass out.
In the morning; there is my junk, just where I left it; Hallelujah.

PS; no, I didn't see the angels. But they guard my bedroom as well, to keep the shadow people away; and I haven't seen those demons in a long while either. So I don't have to see them or hear/smell them to know they must be doing the task I asked then to. I call them down in storms too, so my shingles will stay on the roof. Before I knew I had the right to this protection, I would regularly loose shingles, and in my mid 60s now,a 12/12 pitch roof is a super PITA. Gee, I should go check; but I haven't seen any shingles laying in the grass or snow, for.................. a really long time.