Nervous...scared...anxious...

enigma57 said
Any day above ground is a good day, Doug. When you are ready to take those steps, you will find that bridge is a bridge of faith. Meaning you must be ready to cross it without any assurance of what lies on the other side except that ultimately, it will lead to a better life. For yourself and everyone who truly cares about you.

Regarding the meds themselves...... I am not a doctor. If they are something that you must wean off of for medical reasons rather than put them down and quit cold turkey as I did...... Consult your doctor about that.

Only thing I can tell you is when you are ready to take those steps...... Do so. And understand that being clean and sober have no modifiers. There are no ifs, ands nor buts about it. It means everything that is used to alter your perceptions including booze and pot and anything else such as that. No substituting one addiction for the other. It also means that you will have to stay away from certain people, places and things...... Folks who have a drink, smoke dope or who take mind altering substances of any kind...... And places where they go to do so.

And it means that you will have reached the point where you are more afraid of dying than withdrawal symptoms and living without whatever substances you are addicted to. And you are ready to do whatever it takes to live instead of dying. That is what is called your 'bottom'.

You will also find that its easier to quit than to stay quit. Find a program such as AA or based on AA principles such as Cenikor and you can do it if you really have the desire to change your life for the better. Stay away from places that claim to have miracle cures which don't involve working the 12 Steps based on AA. They will warehouse you, dry you out physically and take your insurance money until it runs out, then drop you like a stone without the tools you need to remain clean and sober.

Wish you all the best,

Harry

Because of my mental health troubles, they are why I am collecting disability, I had to agree to continue seeing my shrink. I have had rather lengthy discussions with both the shrink and my primary care doc, who is prescribing my meds. The doc is well aware of my desire to get off of the narcotics. He warned of quitting "cold turkey". Told me my chance of success is fairly low....at first I did not believe him. But after spending many sleepless nights thinking about it I do believe him. In addition to the narcotics I am taking Gabapentin, not a real high dose (3@300mg daily) but high enough that, according to some of the stuff I have read, if I were to simply stop taking them I may go into a seizure.
I have had more than one discussion with my doc about the "opioid crisis". Whenever I see a new article about it my blood starts to boil. Enough so that I contacted one of the local news channels that used to use a clip of one of their reporters talking about it in their commercials. Several very nasty emails to the editors and various reporters, asking why they never did a story on the other side of this crisis, an article about those of us who actually NEED opioids. Much to my surprise a reporter actually met with me...needless to say it did not go any where.
One thing that does bother me some...and I will be talking with my doc about this is why did he wait so long to send me out to see this particular surgeon. This surgeon has a reputation for not cutting on people unless he is confident that it will be a success. Granted, I was getting by on the meds alone until the fall of 2018. I was still able to do the things that I was doing. Even last summer, with the help of a taking the maximum amount I was prescribed I was able to do one of my hobbies, photography. Towards the end of the race season it was becoming much more challenging.
I live in Washington State. I know that other states have a similar Pain Contract. For a while I was trying to find a different Primary Care doc. But every one I seen said they do not prescribe Opioids. That I would have had to go to a pain clinic for them. I spoke with the one I was seeing at that time, they were doing epidurals etc on me, and they told me that if they were to take over my pain meds that I would need to start from ground zero, no pain meds whatsoever. That was not an option for me.