How would you handle

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I have a buddy that regularily stops by. Likes to spend an hour, after he has coffee in town. Usually 11:00 am to whenever. im trying to get a job done and he wants to visit. I had my coffee at 10, no need to stop until noon. I respect the man but hes starting to cost me money.
i refuse to stop working, unless its a paying customer,or one that has spent lots of money fixing his car.

i would prefer he invite me for coffee, or show up when i have less to do.

be blunt. Mention no disrespect but this has to change. Hand him a stick of your favorite deodorant and suggest he use it because you find his aroma offensive.
No different than car fresheners that make me ill.

If he is of little or no help to you, tell him dont touch.
Last thing i want is a customer trying to help and getting hurt.
I make it very clear to keep hands off.

Its not easy telling someone to get out, but sometimes there is no option.

kicked a neighbour off my property for snooping,explained this wasnt public property.
A sign would help with that.
 
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Life's to short to be unhappy, the very next time you see him tell him how it is and if you both can't see a future friendship its time to part ways.
 
Tell him the truth, he needs to call before he comes over, he is slowing down your progress and your time is very limited on things you need to work on after your real job, and be no means can someone else come with him. And no, you don’t have time for a tour, he’s seen enough. If you don’t like his company, and you still want to be friends, he has to understand and accept your wishes. If he can’t, it sounds like you can do without him in your life anyway. What he did for you in the past was undoubtably appreciated by you, but that doesn’t mean it gives him an open ticket. And stop the physical contact, period!
 
As an older man, I'm sure he is aware that you are younger and an attractive female. He probably just wants to be friends. I'd give him your phone number and ask him to call before "stopping by", have it ready on a card or scrap of paper. Give time limits if you are OK with him stopping by. And tell him NOT to bring any friends. My garage has never had any windows you could see through. No body needs to see what I or you have. You now work full time and have precious little time to get work done, plus your personal time, guard it. Absolutely tell him you do not want to be hugged and back away if you see it coming. I like the idea of telling him you are going out with someone and excuse yourself. Go into the house to get away. This is as nice as I would be, assuming he is nice and just wants to be friends. If this does not work, take off the gloves and do what you need to do to get him moving on. Enlist the aid of a friend, your Dad, your Mother, whoever.
 
Time robbers doing the Pop Ins at the most inconvenient times.

You spend your week going to work to make the money to pay your bills and have some time on the weekends to do your hobby (and move your investments forward).

Time Robber comes in and shuts down the whole planned operation, burning up your energy and time. He has drained your energy tank and leaves you with nothing in return.

Time to cut the cord, don't want to see all your goals and dreams fade into the sunset at the end of the day.

Just think about all of your good people that like seeing and hearing of your skilled progresses, these are the type of people that put energy "Back" into your tank.

20181108_235134.jpg
 
318willrun said:
some only get the message when it's served without toppings
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THIS, stop pussyfooting with this nut...
Look him in the eye and step forward not backwards and lay down the law.. And if he shows up with anyone tell him loudly (to make them uncomfortable) you told not to bring strangers...
Now leave and don't come back without calling first..
If you don't.. enjoy his company and the people he feels like bringing over...
 
Tough one. It seems you feel slightly indebted for the help he gave you. That is a respectable aspect of yours. It seems you are respectful to him by taking the time to drop what you are doing to have a visit. Again, good on you. But he is not respecting you. In fact I would call it close to intrusive and invading. The fact that he thinks “we” can make a ton of money tells me he is playing the older and wiser card on a nice young lady. Personally, that would have been cleared up the first time it was mentioned to me. I also don’t like the fact that some guy is continually coming over “to visit”, let alone the later and later part. Him bringing a stranger shows even more disrespect. People always ask me if they can bring someone by before they do. I hate being suspicious of people, but in today’s world we have no choice. He very well could be popping by later to see when opportunity opens up for midnight auto. I could be a mile off on that as well.........but these things you don’t learn until it’s too late.

I do believe in honesty and whether it works out that you remain friends or part ways, he needs to know how you feel. The result will tell you the answers to any suspicions you may have. A friend will be fine with your feelings. A con will have a problem. Then you will have to get a dog.
Good luck Rani
 
Rainy Day Auto said:
A little off the car but not really.

How would you guys handle an acquaintance who just drops in at random times.

A guy I know who is a fellow mopar guy, but hasn't worked on his dart in over ten years just drops by.

Then he wants to walk around the yard looking at everything and has a comment for everything.

He watches mecum auctions on tv and says "we can make a ton of money, selling all these cars" gee I guess I missed the memo when it became "we" without me realizing.

When I'm working in the shop and he drops by, I have to stop and babysit. I feel creeped out with him watching me work. Last summer he dropped in and I figured I would have him help me. He does everything *** backwards from the way I like things done, he has a comment about everything.
I tell him i don't have time for him and he says "i don't want to keep you" but then lingers on talking for another hour. Then he hints to be invited to dinner. He has wretched B.O.

Comments on and asks questions about things that are really personal and none of his business.

He is making me feel like I need to make it look like no one is home so my life doesn't get interrupted.

I tolerate because I have known him a long time, he helped me out long time ago when I was first starting out and in auto school. He is also a Christian man which I appreciate. I don't dislike him but the freaking dropping in and ruining my evenings needs to stop and he starting to drop by later and later. I have been in my PJs and he wants a tour of the yard because he is bored and has no regard that I am a busy person and I don't have time for his ****. Today he brought a buddy and I didn't like the friend, looked shady as hell.

I have told him multiple times that I don't really like the drop ins and I don't appreciate people I don't know in my yard. A few summers ago I went to his house and it was a fun day in his shop even though his shop is a complete mess so not something I want to frequent and says how he works.

What would you guys do?
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BE HONEST
 
I disagree with everybody saying this is a difficult situation..
This is an easy situation even Barney Fife knows to "nip it in the bud!"...
 
Let me pour a little gas onto this fire as I did not realize the OP was female. There is another aspect you need to consider seriously, it could be that this dude is infatuated with you to one degree or another and depending on his mental state, the could be a very real danger in all this. If you reject him hard, there is a possibility that he could react poorly (as in violently). it happens all the time. While you see "being a christian man" as a positive, I hate to say this but I seriously doubt that is something he actually is or subscribes to in a serious manner, because if he did you would not be in this situation. Not trying to hate on religion or anything, but it appears to me that some people use religion as a disarming mechanism to get close to others. In other words, since I am a good christian you can trust me and you should open your life to me... Not saying he doesn't believe, just that he obviously doesn't subscribe to the tenants of it. The hugging thing is another potential flag depending on how it is executed; a quick "bro hug" is one thing, a arms around squeeze and hold is another.

Obviously there are many ways to handle this but only you have contact with this guy and know him, you need to be honest first with yourself and really look at what this guy is really about before deciding on a course of action. I would recommend a escalating approach where initially you tell him that he just cannot stop by unannounced and judge his reaction, the BO deal, well that is more difficult as it is highly personal and there is no good way to deal with it without hurting his feelings.

Not sure what your personal situation is (married, dating, etc.) but regardless it may not deter his feelings toward you. Be careful in whatever you decide.
 
First I would like to say I really admire you for the way you have adapted to this country and the way you handle life in general. You seem to be a very smart person and hard worker and are following a hobby that you truly enjoy. I would be very cautious with this guy and always have some sort of protection close by either gun, club, pepper spray or what ever means you have to protect yourself in case he tried something else. It sounds like he is infatuated with you and may have brought the guy by to show him his lady friend although that is not the case. I know it is an awkward situation for you but you really need to end this before it keeps escalating. You will have to be polite but be honest and don't stutter when you tell him that he is making you uncomfortable by just dropping by and bringing someone you don't know onto your property and infringing on your privacy. It makes it a lot harder with him being older and of the opposite sex. You didn't say how old he is or if he is married and has family. The BO is also hard but needs to be brought to his attention. Good luck and be cautious and protect yourself, Joe
 
Give him some physical strenuous job to do, move these axles over there, and need all this organization, strip this surface or prep and clean this. He won’t come around anymore.
 
red67gts said:
First I would like to say I really admire you for the way you have adapted to this country and the way you handle life in general. You seem to be a very smart person and hard worker and are following a hobby that you truly enjoy. I would be very cautious with this guy and always have some sort of protection close by either gun, club, pepper spray or what ever means you have to protect yourself in case he tried something else. It sounds like he is infatuated with you and may have brought the guy by to show him his lady friend although that is not the case. I know it is an awkward situation for you but you really need to end this before it keeps escalating. You will have to be polite but be honest and don't stutter when you tell him that he is making you uncomfortable by just dropping by and bringing someone you don't know onto your property and infringing on your privacy. It makes it a lot harder with him being older and of the opposite sex. You didn't say how old he is or if he is married and has family. The BO is also hard but needs to be brought to his attention. Good luck and be cautious and protect yourself, Joe
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This. You have the right to your property and your person. Get yourself a firearm. Learn to use it. Wear it.

We are going through a situation with a family friend. He husband died a year ago, and her father died about 5 months ago. She ran into a guy at her dads funeral that worked for her husband. When he found out he was dead, he started hitting on her.

At first, she wasn't concerned. Then he started calling. The showing up at her house. Then he showed up in the parking lot at her church. She kept saying no.

The upshot is last week he tried to kidnap her. I'm dead serious. The cops have zero doubt he was going to rape her, as he grabbed her with a mask over his face and a voice altering device to change his voice.

She was lucky to get her pepper spray out of her coat pocket (a purse is a bad place to keep it...and I told her she needed to buy a gun...the wife and I offered to take her to the range, help her find a carry weapon and teach her to use it but she opted for the pepper spray) and got away from the bastard and got the cops involved. In his car they found other stuff that pointed to a rape.

So the bastard goes to jail. With a pretty high bail (I don't know the exact number but I was told it was up there, like a million dollars but I'm not sure if it was that high) and guess who this bastard calls to bail him out? From almost two hours away!

His sorry assed pastor, who was the pastor of my friends church before he moved. I've met the pastor. We didn't see eye to eye on most everything, and he's a little pussy. And yet and still, he bailed this criminal out, and says he's innocent!! This pastor (a nominal Christian) is defending his criminal (another nominal Christian) buddy!!

Judge them by their fruit, not their words.

Protect yourself. Preferably with a firearm you are comfortable with.

Tell this clown to hit the road. And never come back.
 
To me, this character stinks of more than BO. After reading and thinking on this my thoughts are to just be an asshole. He has overstepped personal boundaries. You can't care more about other peoples' feelings over yourself, you time, your personal space, your personal security in your property of body and health. When it comes to these things, the words, "So what, I don't care about your feelings," are something you may want to think about.

Don't lie about, "My boyfriend wouldn't like that." Forget it and be honest and say, "I don't like that."

Good luck with this situation.
 
12swinger said:
Give him some physical strenuous job to do, move these axles over there, and need all this organization, strip this surface or prep and clean this. He won’t come around anymore.
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Yeah...GREAT idea. Now B/O Bob will stink even MORE.
 
I agree Nip it in the butt. Tell him your busy you don't have time. Remember you let him in. Know it's time to show him the door. You obviously feel uncomfortable around him. Hey some car guy's have come over my house and my wife has said that one was creepy, my wife has good instincts those one's don't come back. Good luck.
 
If this person has been around a long time, helping you out etc. without any harm done,
He should have no problem listening to your new rules or what you need to ask of him, out of respect.
If he doesn't?
Aquaintance should no longer exist......
 
67Dart440GT said:
When someone says "we" they are implying you and them. When you have no interest in including them in something you're basically saying who are you talking to the turd in your pocket?
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I guess that makes sense. "We" always said. "What are you french?" (Oui) or "What do you have a mouse in your pocket".
 
Beware of people who bring up their "faith" frequently. Some use it for manipulating people.
I've had two stalker men in the last ten years. No, I'm not gay. One was a guy who bought a car from a friend that I put the car together for. Every time I went to a cruise in, or show, he would get really close to me, and ask the same questions about what I did to the car. Finally, I had to lose it to get him to leave me alone.
The second guy lived down the street, and decided we were friends whether I wanted to or not. Same thing, kept showing up at my house, keeping me from enjoying the little time off that I had. He also would go to the cruise night to stalk me. I actually saw him running after me at the cruise spot. Then he started to show up with his room mate. I tried everything I could to stop him, but he was determined to keep after me. And he had several dogs, and smelled like dog poop. He died from MS. That's the only way I got rid of him. My point is, some people just lock on to you, no matter how distant you try to be. Be firm, and say it straight out, while you have a hammer in your hand. If that fails, get the restraining order, and keep the hammer, or mace close by.
 
We have one comes in and what you think of this, or that? Always comes down to LS this or that.
I told him come in my shop again, and bring up an LS swap, and I’m getting a shirt that says F@k you and your LS
He moved on to Super duty Trans Am cars, which I told him I’d be happy to help him with.
 
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