Nervous...scared...anxious...
Evening Harry
Hope all is well......
Plan is to have the stimulator put in. And do my damnedest to get off of the Dopioids. If I need something to supplement the stimulator for pain management I am hoping that I pass the trial for a pain medication pump. No more Milligrams of narcotics coating the pain receptors in my brain...and making me foggy. It will be Micro-grams injected right into my spine....the only receptors that will be effected, if I understand the whole thing, will be the ones in my spine. No more brain fog.
I am tired of more or less having no emotions. I used to be very sharp mentally. Was quick to respond when talking with people. Now I feel about as sharp as a ball peen hammer.
I hope I am doing the right thing.
Doug, FWIW...... I understand
exactly what you mean. Have been dealing with much the same for over 20 years now. Have not walked the same path as yourself the entire time, but took a different fork in the road some while back and have walked a parallel path since.
Two things we soon learned when I was a young grunt......
1. Do the best you can with what you have.
** I believe you are doing that and are making the best decisions you can, given your circumstances.
2. Learn to live in the moment, for life can be short and this moment may be all you have.
** I believe anyone who must live with constant pain understands living life moment by moment, hour by hour, one day at a time and you are no exception.
You will be fine. Just keep on keepin' on. Put your trust in G-d, your shoulder to the wheel and never say "Never".
In the words of Hans-Ulrich Rudel...... "Only he who gives up on himself is lost." Remember that always.
Best regards,
Harry
