greymouser7
Vagrant Vagabond “Veni Vidi Vici”
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Nervous...scared...anxious...
- Thread starter inkjunkie
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Wish you all the best. Been there, done that as to injuries and pain meds. I made the choice to discontinue the pain meds a year following back and knee surgery. Hated being muddle headed. Besides, they only took a little of the edge off the pain for about 2 hours and couldn't take them but every 4 hours. TENS unit didn't help a bit. Neither did injections. So I just made the decision to live with the pain as best as I can and got off the meds. That was 24 years ago. Hope this new procedure works for you. Chronic pain is no fun at all.We are having some bad weather here just now. Heavy rain, hail, lightning, wind gusts over 70 MPH. Tornado watch just expired. So will post this whilst we still have electric.
Best regards,
Harry
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inkjunkie
Well-Known Member
Thanks. I know the "muddle headed" feeling all to well. I am very hopeful that I can at least lower the dose of my Dopioids, actually I am hoping to get off of them entirely. The TENS unit is just...what the hell did the doc call it...superficial (?). This is entirely different. The electrodes are actually placed above where my pain is being generated. My L3 disc has slipped a bit, my L5 is herniated into my spinal canal. As one of the docs put it...my back is twisted up between L3 and S1. Anyway, the electrodes are actually placed in the thoracic area of my back. If I remember correctly they are covering the L1-L4 area. Guessing that is how they work, they place the stimulation above the area generating the pain so that the electrical charge generated by the pain is intercepted/interrupted by the stimulator. The one I am currently wearing, as well as the permanent one have both types of stimulation, the type you feel (just like the TENS) and the one you don't. Right now I am on the one you don't feel. When they were wiggling the leads in the turned it on and set it to the stimulation that I could feel....turned it up far enough that it actually made my toes wiggle around.
We are having some bad weather here just now. Heavy rain, hail, lightning, wind gusts over 70 MPH. Tornado watch just expired. So will post this whilst we still have electric.
Best regards,
Harry
My plan is to get off the pain meds, even if it means I am in pain so that I can have this thing put in...
Implant - Targeted Drug Delivery for Chronic Pain
In talking with the surgeon that said cutting is not going to happen, his PA, my Primary Care doc and the staff at the pain clinic about the pump it sounds like a far better option than popping pills. The medication is injected right into the area where the pain is being generated. So instead of popping pills and "coating" the pain receptors (more like most all of the receptors of your brain) the medication works on managing the pain locally instead of in your brain. They all have told me that this eliminates that "muddle headed" way of existence. The other thing that I liked the sounds of is instead of taking milligrams of narcotics you will only be on micro-grams. The one doc told me that if I were to do the math what I pop in pills in one day right now would more than likely be what I use in a 2-3 week period.
Sorry for rambling...just so jazzed that this things appears to be working. I am going to grab one my cameras and go outside to take some pictures of our poop shooters playing in the snow...I am hoping that it takes my mind off of the itching.....all this tape is starting to make me itch...
Harry, Thank You for the well wishes. Hopefully the storm did not cause any damage....
I’m not sure where your faith is, my friend, but God’s hand is working on you! Modern medicine is awesome and I am really glad to hear this is working. Pain is not fun! I will keep you in my prayers and hope this opens up a new horizon for you!
All the best Doug, happy for the pair of you! Only a week trial though? Seems awfully short?
Very glad to hear this new tech unit is helping you. I made the decision to have the operation (herniated disc). Knew the risks going in. But following 6 months of being off work doing physical therapy and taking vicodin & soma...... I knew it was what I had to do even if I ended up in a wheel chair or didn't make it through the operation.
Had a good surgeon and the operation went well. Pain was not completely gone afterward, but it was a lot better and I can handle it. I spent 6 more months doing physical therapy following the operation before returning to work with restrictions. Was off work a year in all. The vicodin and soma, I continued for a year following surgery.
Next challenge was to get off the meds. Didn't realize it until I put them down (the first time), but I had become hooked on them. After a month or so, they were out of my system and the physical dependence was gone. The hard part was not taking them to take the edge off when the pain came back from time to time. Or just to catch a buzz to be honest about it. That took nearly a year. During the first several months, I had to put them down 3 times. And 24 years later, I still have to be mindful of it and just say 'No' if the thought crosses my mind. But as time goes by, its easier...... Just a matter of making your mind up and doing it.
Must admit that as I have grown older and chronic pain from knees, right shoulder and neck have come on me, I must be ever mindful not to allow myself to take strong prescription pain meds such as I did with the back when I was younger. But anyone can do it if they really want to badly enough.
Best regards and G-d bless,
Harry
P.S. >>> Thanks for your well wishes. We made it through the storm OK. Need to do some fence work after things dry out, but house and trees came through it well.
Had a good surgeon and the operation went well. Pain was not completely gone afterward, but it was a lot better and I can handle it. I spent 6 more months doing physical therapy following the operation before returning to work with restrictions. Was off work a year in all. The vicodin and soma, I continued for a year following surgery.
Next challenge was to get off the meds. Didn't realize it until I put them down (the first time), but I had become hooked on them. After a month or so, they were out of my system and the physical dependence was gone. The hard part was not taking them to take the edge off when the pain came back from time to time. Or just to catch a buzz to be honest about it. That took nearly a year. During the first several months, I had to put them down 3 times. And 24 years later, I still have to be mindful of it and just say 'No' if the thought crosses my mind. But as time goes by, its easier...... Just a matter of making your mind up and doing it.
Must admit that as I have grown older and chronic pain from knees, right shoulder and neck have come on me, I must be ever mindful not to allow myself to take strong prescription pain meds such as I did with the back when I was younger. But anyone can do it if they really want to badly enough.
Best regards and G-d bless,
Harry
P.S. >>> Thanks for your well wishes. We made it through the storm OK. Need to do some fence work after things dry out, but house and trees came through it well.
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inkjunkie
Well-Known Member
A friend in AZ...he has been clean & sober for 25 years or so. His wife and kid packed up, left in the middle of the night, never to be seen again. He had Hep C, which the VA was treating. He was on some sort of shots/pills. VA knew of his addiction problems and were giving him bottles of codeine. He would give the bottle to me and I would take them to the pharmacy I was using for disposal.
Bit concerned with getting off of the meds. But I will cross that bridge when I get there.
gzig5
Well-Known Member
Chin up! Good luck. I was lucky and an epidural took care of my blown L5-S1. worst two years of my life til then
Ddaddy
I'm changing the World... one pixel at a time!
Any day above ground is a good day, Doug. When you are ready to take those steps, you will find that bridge is a bridge of faith. Meaning you must be ready to cross it without any assurance of what lies on the other side except that ultimately, it will lead to a better life. For yourself and everyone who truly cares about you.
Regarding the meds themselves...... I am not a doctor. If they are something that you must wean off of for medical reasons rather than put them down and quit cold turkey as I did...... Consult your doctor about that.
Only thing I can tell you is when you are ready to take those steps...... Do so. And understand that being clean and sober have no modifiers. There are no ifs, ands nor buts about it. It means everything that is used to alter your perceptions including booze and pot and anything else such as that. No substituting one addiction for the other. It also means that you will have to stay away from certain people, places and things...... Folks who have a drink, smoke dope or who take mind altering substances of any kind...... And places where they go to do so.
And it means that you will have reached the point where you are more afraid of dying than withdrawal symptoms and living without whatever substances you are addicted to. And you are ready to do whatever it takes to live instead of dying. That is what is called your 'bottom'.
You will also find that its easier to quit than to stay quit. Find a program such as AA or based on AA principles such as Cenikor and you can do it if you really have the desire to change your life for the better. Stay away from places that claim to have miracle cures which don't involve working the 12 Steps based on AA. They will warehouse you, dry you out physically and take your insurance money until it runs out, then drop you like a stone without the tools you need to remain clean and sober.
Wish you all the best,
Harry
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inkjunkie
Well-Known Member
Because of my mental health troubles, they are why I am collecting disability, I had to agree to continue seeing my shrink. I have had rather lengthy discussions with both the shrink and my primary care doc, who is prescribing my meds. The doc is well aware of my desire to get off of the narcotics. He warned of quitting "cold turkey". Told me my chance of success is fairly low....at first I did not believe him. But after spending many sleepless nights thinking about it I do believe him. In addition to the narcotics I am taking Gabapentin, not a real high dose (3@300mg daily) but high enough that, according to some of the stuff I have read, if I were to simply stop taking them I may go into a seizure.
I have had more than one discussion with my doc about the "opioid crisis". Whenever I see a new article about it my blood starts to boil. Enough so that I contacted one of the local news channels that used to use a clip of one of their reporters talking about it in their commercials. Several very nasty emails to the editors and various reporters, asking why they never did a story on the other side of this crisis, an article about those of us who actually NEED opioids. Much to my surprise a reporter actually met with me...needless to say it did not go any where.
One thing that does bother me some...and I will be talking with my doc about this is why did he wait so long to send me out to see this particular surgeon. This surgeon has a reputation for not cutting on people unless he is confident that it will be a success. Granted, I was getting by on the meds alone until the fall of 2018. I was still able to do the things that I was doing. Even last summer, with the help of a taking the maximum amount I was prescribed I was able to do one of my hobbies, photography. Towards the end of the race season it was becoming much more challenging.
I live in Washington State. I know that other states have a similar Pain Contract. For a while I was trying to find a different Primary Care doc. But every one I seen said they do not prescribe Opioids. That I would have had to go to a pain clinic for them. I spoke with the one I was seeing at that time, they were doing epidurals etc on me, and they told me that if they were to take over my pain meds that I would need to start from ground zero, no pain meds whatsoever. That was not an option for me.
inkjunkie
Well-Known Member
I was out taking my morning stroll thru the yard. Bit icy, bit windy, wind chill is 4*. Ernestina was in the shower, we are out of groceries and she has therapy for her dislocated elbow. Came inside to a blinking cell phone. Have a 3 hour appointment with the pain doc tomorrow. Needless to say by the time I called them back they were out to lunch....I signed up for a trial with a second stimulator company. This was is a clinical trail with a yet to be approved design stimulator. Company is the largest supplier of pace makers. They have decided to give the spinal cord stimulator market a try. Not real sure I am going to thru with it...the tape/gauze/bandages are driving me nuts. I feel like taking a belt sander to my back. From what I remember the Medtronics device will simply be disconnected from the leads in my back and this device will be used in it's place. This companies device uses different frequencies etc than the one I am currently wearing. Doc has assured me that if I go thru with the second trial it will not have any effect on the implant date of the permanent device. Problem is the new device will not be turned on for 2 days. Then I will have a 12 day trial. The leads will then be removed and I have to wait 10-12 days (healing time) prior to the insertion of the permanent leads and battery. Then I will have to wait 2 weeks prior to charging/powering up the device, something about the heat from charging the device may cause an infection if the incision from the battery is not healed enough. Which means for a while I am going to be in pain again.
If the second companies Rep tells me no showers I am out. Prior to having the trial started I went and had my hair cut, what is left of it, shorter than I have ever had it cut. Have not showered since last Thursday....getting a bit sticky...and ripe....
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If the second companies Rep tells me no showers I am out. Prior to having the trial started I went and had my hair cut, what is left of it, shorter than I have ever had it cut. Have not showered since last Thursday....getting a bit sticky...and ripe....
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Hi, Doug! Great to hear from you!I can understand your frustration with wanting to discontinue the pain meds as well as with the current trend to not prescribe opiods...... Even to those people who legitimately need them for pain management.
Seems like the pendulum swings too far one way (over prescribing them) and now too far the other way (under prescribing them)...... Even when those experiencing high levels of chronic pain may benefit from their use under a doctor's supervision.
The best thing I can suggest is that you work with doctors you have confidence in and trust their judgement in these matters. Make them aware of how well the meds are working and any side effects you may experience with them. If you desire a 2nd opinion, get one.
If your doctor feels that you should stay on the pain meds and the Gabapentin and you agree with that decision, then do so. If your new pain management unit allows them to decrease your dosage of pain meds, work with them to find what dosage works best for you. And when the day comes to discontinue these medications, by all means, do this under your doctor's supervision.
Best regards,
Harry
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inkjunkie
Well-Known Member
Had the trial stimulator removed yesterday. Met with the reps from the company that I volunteered to take part in their clinical study. Programmed their stimulator, have to wait until tomorrow to turn it on. Pai is at an all time high...and completely different from prior to the whole thing started.
All the best to you, Doug! Hope the new unit will give you relief from your pain. When this trial study is completed, will you be able to choose whichever unit gave you more relief and begin using it?
Best regards,
Harry
Best regards,
Harry
Dartnut
Don't hate me because i'm beautiful
You are in my thoughts and prayers, Doug.
I sure hope you come up with a happy medium between the stim and meds to control your ongoing pain issues.
Over the years I have read your posts about your pain issues, and feel you deserve a good outcome finally.
Please don't feel that ''the opioid crisis'' includes people like yourself who need the pain management to deal with day to day activities just to be functional.
The ''opioid crisis'' to me is for targeting people who take them for ''kicks'' and does not apply to you..........at all.
Many people don't understand the full extent of what persons like yourself are going through just to move around and have a semblance of normal life without the aid of medications.
Personally, I too have issues with back pain and knee pain and it can be frustrating at times, but with anti inflammatories and rest as well as pacing myself, I have managed my issues to a point where I am functional.
Please keep on posting your results, as well as the trials and tribulations you face, there are a lot of people here that may be living in silence for fear of embarrassment for needing and taking the pain management that they need just to cope with life in general.
Thank you for your perseverance, you are helping more people than you realize!
I sure hope you come up with a happy medium between the stim and meds to control your ongoing pain issues.
Over the years I have read your posts about your pain issues, and feel you deserve a good outcome finally.
Please don't feel that ''the opioid crisis'' includes people like yourself who need the pain management to deal with day to day activities just to be functional.
The ''opioid crisis'' to me is for targeting people who take them for ''kicks'' and does not apply to you..........at all.
Many people don't understand the full extent of what persons like yourself are going through just to move around and have a semblance of normal life without the aid of medications.
Personally, I too have issues with back pain and knee pain and it can be frustrating at times, but with anti inflammatories and rest as well as pacing myself, I have managed my issues to a point where I am functional.
Please keep on posting your results, as well as the trials and tribulations you face, there are a lot of people here that may be living in silence for fear of embarrassment for needing and taking the pain management that they need just to cope with life in general.
Thank you for your perseverance, you are helping more people than you realize!
inkjunkie
Well-Known Member
The second device, the one that will be turned on today, is still in the clinical trial phase. If the FDA does approve the device it will be a few years before it is available.
You are correct about the "opioid crisis"...it is indeed more about the folks that use Opioids more for recreational use. Wish I had kept it but a friend had sent me a report that he requested from one of the government agencies under the "Freedom of Information Act". It was several hundreds of pages about the real crisis. The "street" Oxycodone. The stuff that the cartels are pushing, the stuff mixed with Fentanyl, Ketamine....there was several other drugs mentioned in the report, one of them was some sort of rhino tranquilizer.
I have had more than one conversation with my shrink about how I am feeling, how I really feel that the line between dependency & addiction is not so clear cut for me anymore. The last day I had the stimulator on, the one that will be implanted, I felt more alive than I have in years. I am hoping that with some patience...and the help of Sasha, the Medtronic Rep, Dr. Hatheway, my shrink and my primary care doc, my wife....and you folks tolerating my upcoming rants....that I will be able to get off of the narcotics. I know that this stimulator is nothing more than pain control. I also know that, just like every other human being on the planet, that my back is going to continue to get worse, degenerative disc disease is simply something that happens from the aging process. What I am hoping for is to be able to get off of the narcotics, even if it is just long enough to go thru the pain pump trial. The pump, if I understand it right, injects meds right into where the pain is origination from. Instead of taking oral meds, which effect the pain receptors in your brain the pump uses the receptors in your spine. The amount of meds used is a very small percentage compared to what is used when the meds are taken orally. From what I was told I will not experience the fog I am now from the oral meds.
vitamindart
Well-Known Member
thanks for the updates Ink, hope this all works out for you.
Doug, have you given consideration to having the surgery for your back rather than continuing to deal with the symptom (pain)? Having done that, I can tell you one thing for sure...... Its easier on you if you have the operation when you are younger and stronger. Better chance of success, less likely to develop other health issues whilst putting it off, some of which might make it too dangerous to do the operation at all when you are older. Not to mention continuing to live in pain until the operation is done.
Wish you all the best,
Harry
Wish you all the best,
Harry
inkjunkie
Well-Known Member
Morning Harry
I ended up at this pain clinic because of a surgeon. Over the past several months I asked all of the medical folks I have been seeing about who they would go see if they needed back surgery. Every last one of them told me to go see Dr. Tomeh, the doc that has been taking care of my shoulder told me that he was actually treating her already. Of course, I did not listen at first. Went to see another doc. He told me that I NEEDED to go to PT, despite my injury being 30+ years old...and having been to PT at least 2 dozen times over the year. I balked, like I always do when told I NEED PT. I had just went to PT the year prior and got absolutely no where. I started to get belligerent, doc then told me it Medicares protocol that I go to PT prior to them doing anything for me. On the way out I tossed the prescription for PT in the trash. Went to my primary care doc and asked about the PT being Medicares protocol...he said that was news to him. Had him send me to Dr Tomeh. His PA sent me out for a diagnostic epidural (l4-5), this was the first CT guided one I had, all the other ones were X-Ray guided. Well, this got rid of my back pain...all of my back pain. Was then sent out for another CT guided epidural, this one at L5-S1. This got rid of my leg pain. PA told me they had the info that they needed, time to see the surgeon. He took one look at my MRI, and the results of the Epidurals....and said IF he cut on me that I WOULD end up on the wrong side of the statistical chart, the failed side. He blew up the MRI image of my L-3 to S-1 area and said that the bulk of my issue is the L4-5 disc is herniated. Problem is it is into my spinal canal. Also said that IF he were to cut on me that he would also, based on the results of the second epidural, fuse L5 and S-1. He said that he would also have to fuse L-3 as it is starting to slip.
He then told me that all of this is not really relevant, what was relevant was the herniated disc. The bulk of the pain is not from degenerative disc disease. The bulk of my pain is form the herniated disc compromising the spinal canal. Only thing a fusion would do would be to lock my back in place, it would do nothing for my pain. Told me that a fusion would be pointless. Also said that I am not a candidate for disc replacement, for multiple reasons. One, I have a lot of arthritis. The other being a m borderline morbidly obese. He suggested that Dr. Hatheway was a viable option.
I am not one for going to half a dozen doctors looking for the answer I WANT to hear, I call that fishing. Have had several people in my past go fishing...and all of them did not end well.
So long story short...if one of the most highly regarded surgeons in your area tells you that surgery is a bad idea....well...it is probably a good idea to heed his advice.
Side note #1. My wife is going to PT for her dislocated elbow. She is using the same place I did. Joel, the therapist I seen, came out to chat with me the other day. I told him what was going on. He told me that of all the lumbar fusions he has had pass thru his facility 70% of them are failures, when it comes to eliminating the pain. Most of the folks he sees are on the same dose of narcotics post surgery/recovery as they are prior to surgery.
Side note#2. I started my clinical trial for the Biotronics Spinal Cord Stimulator yesterday. Started it at 6:15 p.m. Pain level, overall, was a solid 7. Woke up this morning at 6:30 p.m. pain level is down to 3.
Thanks, Doug. I believe I understand your reasoning. Only thing I would say is that it would be a good idea to get a second opinion from another surgeon. Not to hear what you want to hear...... But to have another opinion to weigh when making your decisions as to care.
The other thing is...... There are advancements in medicine. I don't know how long its been since you saw the last surgeon, but if its been several years or more it would be good to see another doctor for a new assessment and to get a second opinion to his or hers as well. Back surgery has come a long way since my surgery when I went home on crutches with big bottles of Vicodin and Soma and a long incision with metal staples holding things together for a couple of weeks following.
When I had the herniated disc nearly 25 years ago, following 6 months of PT, my surgeon did a lumbar laminectomy rather than fusion. He brought a full sized articulated plastic model of a human spine with him to our meting and explained that if he fused vertebrae, the remainder of unfused vertebrae would need to move even more (than before the fusion) for every movement I made with my back following surgery. And that would limit my range of motion. Or if I wasn't mindful to limit my range of motion on my own...... To make me more likely to develop another herniated disc.
Of course, my range of motion was already limited in my legs due to nerve damage as a result of the back injury anyway, but he meant I would have less range of motion in my spine as well if he did a fusion. So he did the lumbar laminectomy and said that if it didn't work, a fusion might be necessary. Fortunately, it has worked and except for having degenerative joint disease which has progressed since that time, it is still working as long as I don't overdo things and get my spine out of alignment.
In any case, I wish you well and if the pain management units you are trying will be of help, I hope that you can be pain free and possibly come off the pain meds or at least take a reduced dosage if your doctors (with your concurrence) believe it will work for you.
Best regards,
Harry
The other thing is...... There are advancements in medicine. I don't know how long its been since you saw the last surgeon, but if its been several years or more it would be good to see another doctor for a new assessment and to get a second opinion to his or hers as well. Back surgery has come a long way since my surgery when I went home on crutches with big bottles of Vicodin and Soma and a long incision with metal staples holding things together for a couple of weeks following.
When I had the herniated disc nearly 25 years ago, following 6 months of PT, my surgeon did a lumbar laminectomy rather than fusion. He brought a full sized articulated plastic model of a human spine with him to our meting and explained that if he fused vertebrae, the remainder of unfused vertebrae would need to move even more (than before the fusion) for every movement I made with my back following surgery. And that would limit my range of motion. Or if I wasn't mindful to limit my range of motion on my own...... To make me more likely to develop another herniated disc.
Of course, my range of motion was already limited in my legs due to nerve damage as a result of the back injury anyway, but he meant I would have less range of motion in my spine as well if he did a fusion. So he did the lumbar laminectomy and said that if it didn't work, a fusion might be necessary. Fortunately, it has worked and except for having degenerative joint disease which has progressed since that time, it is still working as long as I don't overdo things and get my spine out of alignment.
In any case, I wish you well and if the pain management units you are trying will be of help, I hope that you can be pain free and possibly come off the pain meds or at least take a reduced dosage if your doctors (with your concurrence) believe it will work for you.
Best regards,
Harry
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inkjunkie
Well-Known Member
Evening Harry
Hope all is well.
The last surgeon, whom I saw in October of last year, was the third one I saw. He is, according to my primary care doc, my shoulder surgeon and my rheumatologist the most highly regarding back guy in the area.
Saw the Pain Management team today, for my 5 day follow up on the clinical trial spinal cord stimulator. Met with the reps from Biotronics, the company that is doing the clinical trial. They loaded some new "tunes" into my stimulator box. Nurse from the clinic stuck her head in, said she will see me on the 29th to pull, literally, the trial leads out of my back and do the "wellness check". Tentative date for the implant of the permanent Medtronics Spinal Cord Stimulator is February 24th.
I realize that this thing is nothing more than pain management. Sadly, given how my disc is herniated...and the fact that the disc above it has slipped some, this is about as good as I can get right now. Even if my disc was not herniated out the front a fusion would be a problem. I would need to be fused from L3 to S1. And given the fact that my hips are pretty beat up can only wonder how long they would hold up before needing to be replaced.
Excuse my rant here....but I have been taking these narcotics for a decade. Prior to that I was downing 18 or so hydrocodone, the high dose ones, a day for the previous 4 years...they were not for pain management, they were to "take the edge off" so I did not hurt anybody at work. The postal facility I worked at had a "most likely to go Postal" list....I was number 2 on it. I want off of these damn things. I am well aware of the legal/medical definitions of dependent/addicted and often feel that the line for me is more than a bit blurry. Do I take Oxycontin & Oxycodone to get "high"? No I do not. Do I take more than prescribed? No I do not. Do I take them so I can get out of bed in the morning? Yes I do. But at the same time I feel that I am borderline addicted to them....for the simple fact that I can't live without them.
Plan is to have the stimulator put in. And do my damnedest to get off of the Dopioids. If I need something to supplement the stimulator for pain management I am hoping that I pass the trial for a pain medication pump. No more Milligrams of narcotics coating the pain receptors in my brain...and making me foggy. It will be Micro-grams injected right into my spine....the only receptors that will be effected, if I understand the whole thing, will be the ones in my spine. No more brain fog.
I am tired of more or less having no emotions. I used to be very sharp mentally. Was quick to respond when talking with people. Now I feel about as sharp as a ball peen hammer.
I hope I am doing the right thing.
Doug, FWIW...... I understand exactly what you mean. Have been dealing with much the same for over 20 years now. Have not walked the same path as yourself the entire time, but took a different fork in the road some while back and have walked a parallel path since.
Two things we soon learned when I was a young grunt......
1. Do the best you can with what you have.
** I believe you are doing that and are making the best decisions you can, given your circumstances.
2. Learn to live in the moment, for life can be short and this moment may be all you have.
** I believe anyone who must live with constant pain understands living life moment by moment, hour by hour, one day at a time and you are no exception.
You will be fine. Just keep on keepin' on. Put your trust in G-d, your shoulder to the wheel and never say "Never".
In the words of Hans-Ulrich Rudel...... "Only he who gives up on himself is lost." Remember that always.
Best regards,
Harry
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