WANTED Toilet paper

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halifaxhops

It's going to get stupid around here!
FABO Gold Member
Joined
Jan 20, 2014
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Location
Hoppyworld, PA
I need help for some reason my fund me page does not work well. I figured the government would step in and wipe my *** but to no avail it did not happen YET, but there is always hope. I need TP bad my *** is itchy and my last sheet just wont do it. I will take any quantity new or just gently used. There is nothing available here and it is really a personal hygiene issue. I just cant afford $25 a roll so I am reaching out to the FABO community for a quick wipe. You know Mopar guys have to stick together not just to their underwear. I have been wearing a mask lately and people think I am scared of the virus, but actually I am scared or should say terrified now of my favorite food, Taco Bell of course and the aroma it can create especially washed down with cheap beer.. Fall will be fine here in the farm country when corn cobs become available again, but there are just so many uses one can get out of them. Please help I need to wipe. Any quantity will be appreciated and probably tax deductible also for the cheap asses out there. I know it is crappy to ask but what can one do when their *** is itchy?

Thanks FABO!

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Hoppy supports this message.
 
Have you checked the local pawn shops?
Cant sell it online,maybe they are pawning it...
 
How about the old Montgomery Wards catalog and the "Outhouse?" That is what we used on my Granpa's and Uncle's farm. Just plain got too used to "Luxery" didn't we. Wonder how Depends is selling out? Crap your pants and change out once a day? Just the smell, but wear a mask......wait a sec, the masks are selling out too!!! Yeah, stay calm. sgrip65
 
It would be police brutality if the guy was leaning him over on a caprice or crown vic. Sir, don't you have to raid a meth lab or crack house ???

wear a diaper //excellent idea !!! an astronaut in training !!

found out that smelling like a Sasquatch:rofl: and coughing will get you with no waiting lines...
 
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Original poster....looks like you got a Robert Crumb cartoon there. You must be a smart ***! I am wiped out here trying to prevent skid marks even as I write this. Scooting on dry grass works too. I've seen my dog do it and I know it works as dogs do not have toilet paper. Dogs do not have toilet paper as they do not have or know how to use money to buy toilet paper.
 
I'm selling TP for 50 cents each....shipping might add another 5/8 cents?? Unlimited supplies!!
 
I'm selling TP for 50 cents each....shipping might add another 5/8 cents?? Unlimited supplies!!
I need help for some reason my fund me page does not work well. I figured the government would step in and wipe my *** but to no avail it did not happen YET, but there is always hope. I need TP bad my *** is itchy and my last sheet just wont do it. I will take any quantity new or just gently used. There is nothing available here and it is really a personal hygiene issue. I just cant afford $25 a roll so I am reaching out to the FABO community for a quick wipe. You know Mopar guys have to stick together not just to their underwear. I have been wearing a mask lately and people think I am scared of the virus, but actually I am scared or should say terrified now of my favorite food, Taco Bell of course and the aroma it can create especially washed down with cheap beer.. Fall will be fine here in the farm country when corn cobs become available again, but there are just so many uses one can get out of them. Please help I need to wipe. Any quantity will be appreciated and probably tax deductible also for the cheap asses out there. I know it is crappy to ask but what can one do when their *** is itchy?

Thanks FABO!

View attachment 1715489879
Hoppy supports this message.

My wife tells me that paper towels are sold out as well. Compare the size of a roll of toilet paper to the size of a roll of paper towels. You get the "Drift." sgrip65
 
Oh! I thought that was per sheet!
Heck bud, you can`t profit and stay in business very long with prices like that!
Where`s that price gouging spirit?
I would NEVER sell one sheet of TP for 50 cents to a fellow FABO member!!!!!!:mad::mob: I was selling two sheets for 50 cents.:rofl:

You gotta have at least two sheets per bathroom visit....one to wipe and one to clean off your fingers!!!!:lol:
 
Crazy ****.. My wife passed away last spring. I have yet to buy TP. I checked my supply when all this **** got stupid. I got 22 rolls still! The little woman was damn sure not gonna run out of asswipe! My need to buy more in 2022!
 
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