Flickering head lights, what am I missing

I don't know just asking.
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Totally cool. You're on the right track.

using a multimeter to measure DC 12 V, would I actually get a reading with one probe on the alternator out and one probe on the field terminal indicated?
same question when probing from the field terminal to the disconnect,,,
In theory there would be no reading from either.
In reality there may be a voltage drop in either or both portions of the circuit.

or are you saying to measure from the alternator output to ground then the field terminal to ground?
Can also measure it that way. If the ground circuit is real good, the results will be the same.
Lets say the measurement from the alternator output stud to the field terminal shows a drop of 0.5 Volts.
Measuring the stud to ground and the field terminal to ground should result in readings that are .5 Volts different.

I thought there had to be a flow potential, for example from a positive to a ground to measure voltage.
Yes.
When it is just potential and there is no current flowing, voltage of everything connected to the battery positive will be the same.

Things can change a little when current is flowing. Anything that causes resistance to that flow creates voltage drops.

By measuring the voltage from one point along the supply to another point in the supply we'll know if there is resistance to the flow. In this case we'll know if that 18 gage wire is too small for the distance and amount of current.

If it helps, think of amperes like gallons per minute, and volts like psi. If there is resistance to the gal/min, then the pressure at the other end of the system won't be the same as at the beginning. But if nothing is flowing, pressure is the same throughout the system.