I like my anti tamper valves.

Very cool, but it's more than a bit effed up that something like this even needs to exist.

Yea it is.
My youngest Son used to steal valve caps until I saw a 3lb can of them in his room one day.
I pretty firmly impressed on him how F'd up it was, and then he felt really bad about it.
I very seriously told him to go put them all back, and he had a look on his face that made me loose the stern look and start laughing.