B.L.D.

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Just left Walmart where a lady with a basket full of TP asked me what kind of dog I had. I said a service dog. Very rudely she yells what type of service? I said he is a BLD. What's a BLD? She asked as she is allowing my dog to lick her face. With a straight face I said "He is my butt licking dog ( BLD ). I can't find any toilet paper anywhere because of people like you hoarding the TP so he licks my *** clean......
One day last winter a couple of friends and I were in my shop having a few shots my project at the time was trunk cleaning. I had a piece of that putty they put around the tail lights in my hand rolling it around in my fingers. One of my half in the bag friends looks at me and says what’s that so I hand it to him. He looks at it squished it and I said don’t know but had a hell of a time getting it out of my nose. He dropped it and shop bursted into laughter.