10 reasons cars are better than men

He shouldda had a Mopar.
The reason a car is better than a wife;
When your car stops pleasing you;
you can beat the snot out of it, sell it, neglect it, get rid of it, put/send her away, etc,
But before then,
I can do whatever I want to, with and to, my car; just about where ever I want to do it, and as often as I like to. I never have to play the fool, and it never calls me nasty names, or runs up my credit cards.
Every morning;
I just stab the key in, kick the go-pedal a couple of times, twist it, and she roars to life. I drive the heck out of her for a while, then bring her home, park her, and put the key back in my pocket; then she waits, right where I left her, patiently, and quietly, until the next time.
With a lil TLC;
she retains her good looks and winning personality thru the decades, and she never gets a headache. And best of all; she doesn't fart and snore all night, or ask me any trick questions like ; do these pants make me look fat?

King Solomon had 700 wives and concubines besides. That is more persons than live in my town. You know why Solomon had so many women? I'll tell ya; cuz the odds are astronomically against them all having a headache on the same evening.
I told my wife; I'm just like Solomon, in fact all men are; we just don't have the wherewithal to support so many women; and the law of the land limits us to just one wife. So you're it. I asked her; Yaknow; it is written; "therefore does a man leave his mother and father, and cleave to his wife"; what do you suppose this " therefore" is?

They say Solomon was the smartest man that ever lived.
Personally, I don't agree with that.
For all his wisdom,
IMO,
Solomon wasn't very smart at all;
He shouldda had a Mopar.