Odd brake/tail light problem

Yes - it is the factory harness.

"Rig" a alligator clip to power THROUGH A TAIL STOP LAMP in series so that it will limit the current.
67Dart273: I'm not sure how to do the above

I tested several spots with the multi-meter:

1) Coming out of the rear light wiring harness with headlights ON:
a. Black tail light wire = 11.4v
b. Brown (right side) brake light/turn indicator = 0
c. Green (left side) brake light/turn indicator = 0

2) Coming off the brake switch
a. front tab = 0 (with or without brake applied)
b. back tab = 0 (with or without brake applied)

With the harness disconnected and the lights on, I was able to jump the black tail light from the front harness terminal to black tail light on the back harness terminal and get the "bright" tail lights to come on.

Thinking this would be a source of constant power, I left it connected in front and tried both brake lines (brown and green) and got nothing. Also, tried the pink reverse lights, which I know work just fine - they didn't come on either. So I may be doing something wrong.

Aaaaand.... running back and forth between the computer and the car I just locked the keys in the ignition. Dammit.