Pancreatic cancer

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Taylor put Jim in the hospital. His stomach was distended (?) and very painful. The amount of fluid coming out of the drain has nearly tripled. My wife is worried that Taylor is starting to fall apart. She tried talking with the oncologist about all of the problems...was told that being that Jim has decided to not pursue treatment that there is nothing he can do for him. Jims primary doctor has told her that there is not much she do for him other then attempt to treat the apparent infection using anti-biotics, which to date have done nothing. She has talked with the surgeon, who pretty much told her the same thing the primary care doc did. Jim is persisting in having his martinis...with the thinking he does not throw them back up so there is nothing wrong with having several a day. Beer, on the other hand, he can't keep down so he should not drink beer. If someone understand that line of thought could you KINDLY explain it to me. Pretty much no matter what he attempts to eat he either throws it back up or it comes out the other end as fluid. Sadly he is still very verbally abusive to her.
Taylor told Ernie that she is changing the bandages every 3 hours or so. She also said that pretty much every time she changes the bandages she throws up from the smell.
When Taylor bought Jim to the ER the other day the E doc did tell her that what is happening NEEDS to be dealt with.
She did take him to a different hospital this time...with the hopes that the infection gets dealt with before the infection kills him. They both understood going into the Whipple Surgery that it was a rough procedure, that life expectancy is 5 years or so...if all goes well. While the tumor was removed in its entirety the cancer had already spread.
 
To those that have commented on this thread and lost a friend, a loved one....you have my condolences.
 
My FIL died 3 years ago. He was having problems with nose bleeding (Caused by blood thinners). He went to the wrong hospital and they ignored him. After a week with no treatment, they released him to home. He was transported there via ambulance. Within an hour, he was transported back to another hospital in an ambulance. They said “why didn’t you bring him in earlier?!!!” We said that he was just released from another hospital and after telling them which one, they said “Oh, we see.” He was dead within 3 weeks later. There are bad doctors everywhere.
 
We have a Co-worker who has found herself looking down the barrel of a loaded gun. Stage 4 Pancreatic cancer and early stages of Lung cancer. Never took care of herself physically and knows her fate however she is doing treatments to hang on for her daughters Highschool graduation. Horrible situation and cancer is in all of us an the ultimate opportunist.

Spousal abuse and everything that entails that lifestyle is unacceptable. It's means you are a weak person who preys on the weak. In my past I spent alot of time and money helping a coworker get out of this type of situation and what a hot mess. I don't regret any efforts one bit and today she is happily married with some rugrats lol..... The abused have to finally hit rock bottom and say no more and ask for help. Plenty of people like me in the world that will go the distance to serve mankind this way.... He need to now be left alone with no support and sit on that rock til the end!

JW
 
A tough situation to be in, to say the least. Three or four customers have passed to various cancers. Guys i have gone to school with.
A customer/ lady upholsterer was diagnosed with cancer this summer. Daughter moved up wedding for this reason. She is such a kind person,always was. Its a damn shame. my condolances to all that have lost someone to cancer.
 
68gtxman said:
My FIL died 3 years ago. He was having problems with nose bleeding (Caused by blood thinners). He went to the wrong hospital and they ignored him. After a week with no treatment, they released him to home. He was transported there via ambulance. Within an hour, he was transported back to another hospital in an ambulance. They said “why didn’t you bring him in earlier?!!!” We said that he was just released from another hospital and after telling them which one, they said “Oh, we see.” He was dead within 3 weeks later. There are bad doctors everywhere.
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Not trying to sound cynical but the first hospital no doubt billed your FIL's insurance for all sorts of "services performed".
You couldn't be more correct...."there are bad doctors everywhere"
Sorry about what your family had to endure...

SLOPAR72 said:
We have a Co-worker who has found herself looking down the barrel of a loaded gun. Stage 4 Pancreatic cancer and early stages of Lung cancer. Never took care of herself physically and knows her fate however she is doing treatments to hang on for her daughters Highschool graduation. Horrible situation and cancer is in all of us an the ultimate opportunist.

Spousal abuse and everything that entails that lifestyle is unacceptable. It's means you are a weak person who preys on the weak. In my past I spent alot of time and money helping a coworker get out of this type of situation and what a hot mess. I don't regret any efforts one bit and today she is happily married with some rugrats lol..... The abused have to finally hit rock bottom and say no more and ask for help. Plenty of people like me in the world that will go the distance to serve mankind this way.... He need to now be left alone with no support and sit on that rock til the end!

JW
Click to expand...
Cancer...evil at it's very best.
Taylor has a truckload of health problems herself. She is slowly starting to accept things for what they are. She needed to get some groceries. In the past she would have driven herself...and struggled....a lot. Not to long ago she went running errands on her own. She was about a quarter mile from her driveway when she fell asleep....and drove off the road. Luckily she hit a sturdy Ponderosa Pine, had the tree not stopped her she would have rolled down a 20' embankment.
Taylor needed groceries today. She called my wife to take her. Despite Ernies constant reassurances that she has no problem helping her out Taylor hates asking Ernestina to help her out.

Sacred Heart, the hospital where Jims surgery was performed...and where he has returned to several times found out he was at the second hospital, Deaconess. They tried to convince Taylor to have him transferred back th there care. She told them they needed to talk with Jim about it. He refused.
Since Jim has been admitted to Deaconess they have drained over 9.5 liters of fluid. That's close to 2.5 gallons if my conversion calculator was correct.
Really have to wonder what type of infection he has.
As much as Ernie and I love sbow... winter in general...we are hoping that we have a mild one. Taylor has 2 sons that are in the Spokane area. Sean...he is homeless...and an addict. Few years back Jim, much to my surprise, tried to help him out. He bought Sean a beater with a heater. Jim was a truck driver, he talked with his former boss who agreed to hire Sean, no questions asked, once he got a CDL, surprisingly Sean has a clean driving record. Jim wrote a check to one of the CDL training companies. After the second day Sean no showed. Sean watched over Jims shoulder when he was opening the gun safe. When he disappeared he took 3 handguns, Jims custom hunting rifle and $5k that Jim had in the safe from selling an old Jeep he had. Stevens County sheriff's found him...he is doing some time. The other son, Mike, is married to a wonderful young lady. She is an RN. She has 2 children from a former relationship....witn an Adeican American. Very first time that Mike, his wife and her 2 kids were at Taylors place Jim spewed some racial crap...I will not repeat what he said...I'm sure you folks can figure out what he said. That was about 4 years ago....Taylor has spoken with Mike & his wife a couple of times....so we are hoping that we have a mild winter so that when we have to help Taylor with getting to town it is a bit easier.

Really don't know what to say to Taylor.....
 
Jim got released yesterday. They followed us down our road. By the time we got all the groceries in Ernie had a message from Taylor saying how he is an ungrateful asshole..he was already warring with her. If I knew where the guy behind me had "the hole" dug and the pallets of lime stashed I would solve the problem for her..
 
inkjunkie said:
Jim got released yesterday. They followed us down our road. By the time we got all the groceries in Ernie had a message from Taylor saying how he is an ungrateful asshole..he was already warring with her. If I knew where the guy behind me had "the hole" dug and the pallets of lime stashed I would solve the problem for her..
Click to expand...

Either get people to a safe haven or get out of it. No third direction...

JW
 
Well.....Jims drain was not only pumping out some sort of infection fluid yesterday but was also pumping out some blood. He could not keep nothing down. Instead of Taylor driving him to the Er and sitting there, waiting to be helped for several hours she called 911. Ambulance/fire crew showed up and took him.
During the Whipple surgery the doctors did completely remove the tumor on his Pancreas. However, the cancer had already spread.
Jim called Taylor, late last night. Taylor told Ernie that she had a hard time understanding Jim, he was high on Morphine. He now has Stage 4 Stomach Cancer. At this point Taylor does not know if Jim will ever be back home.
I am not the praying type....but if you folks could keep Jim and Taylor in your prayers I should would appreciate it.
No matter what type of person you are no one should suffer like Jim is. Despite how he treats Taylor she still really loves him. She is doing her best to hold herself together but this is really starting to do a number on her.
 
I try to believe there's good "somewhere" in everybody. I'll keep them both in my prayers.
 
Taylor just called. She is an absolute wreck. She has to be at the hospital tomorrow, folks from Hospice are going to meet with her and Jim tomorrow. She was insistent that she was going to be able to drive herself as Jim does not want anyone knowing what is happening. Ernestina told her that she will drop her off at the hospital and go get lost for a couple of hours......I feel heart broken for her....but at the same time Jim is really suffering badly...Taylor told Ernie that the nurse she spoke with told her that Jim is on a heavy dose of Morphine...
 
Ernie just got home. Jim is refusing to put into "some shithole hospice facility to rot to death". So....they are setting him up with all the necessary IV's/feeding tubes etc and sending him home. How he is getting home I have no idea...from the sounds of it Taylor will be picking him up up. A nurse will show up his first day home to go over how to monitor his meds and deal with the drains. After that, a nurse will show up twice weekly to check on him.

I get wanting to die at home, not wanting to die at a Hospice facility. But at the same time his wife is far from healthy and is going to seriously struggle with this. Part of me is sympathetic to this....but I really feel that this is Jims final act or tormenting Taylor as he is damn near unbearable to be around thanks to the amount he is suffering. Last thing Taylor needs is to wake up one morning and find him dead...

Taylor said Hospice attempted to set him up with a bed/chair/wheel chair...he refused..."I don't need none of that f.cking ****".
 
I get it, especially know

There is no saying he will ever see the outside world again if he goes into a hospice facility...and what is worse, there is no telling if they will let anyone in to visit him, with this scamdemic going on
 
diymirage said:
I get it, especially know

There is no saying he will ever see the outside world again if he goes into a hospice facility...and what is worse, there is no telling if they will let anyone in to visit him, with this scamdemic going on
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Thank you for your insight....
 
inkjunkie said:
Thank you for your insight....
Click to expand...
No problem

In fact, i can add a few more observations

For starters, my father in law died under hospice care, but in his own home several years ago
As for as death goes, that was about as graceful as one can die

Anyone who wanted to swing by and say goodbye did (again, this may not be possible in a hospice facility)

And when he died, his wife was by his side, and my wife was there within minutes


A second thing to consider is just the limitations they put on visiting people in any Healthcare facility nowadays

I have a friend who is a nurse at a nursing home and she mentioned she could see her alzheimer patients declining because they no longer get visited and it is like thier link to reality is gone

I think I would make the same decision to die at home, IF my condition allowed it
 
I may have some bad information here but here is my understanding of what has/is happened.
Jim came home from the hospital. They were not even home and he was screaming at Taylor. Hospice showed up later that day, showed Taylor what to do in regards to all the meds etc. Then things took a turn for the worst. He just started vomiting, constantly. Actually just started spewing from both ends.
Taylor is far from healthy, she is very frail. Needs a walker to get around type of thing. This is really doing a number on her, she has lost 40+ pounds in just 6 weeks. She is not sleeping but an hour or two a day. SHe is not capable of changing Jims diapers, cleaning him up etc.
Hospice showed up on Tuesday. Taylor explained that with the way Jim is vomiting that she is concerned that he is not getting enough nutrients. Hospice nurse told her that at this point it is not about nutrition but about keeping him comfortable. Think this finally made it sink in...Jim will be passing shortly.
Jim is in/out of being awake. He was awake when the nurse was there, told her he wanted to participate in the "Death with Dignity Act", medical assisted suicide. Nurse told her that it takes weeks for the paper work to go thru, and due to his deteriorating mental health it would get approved anyway.
Taylor spoke with Ernie late last night. She said that when Jim is awake he is having conversations with people who are not there. She said he is more or less just rambling, talking about things that make 0 sense.
Her niece is flying up from Utah to help her. Ernie went to go pick her up. Just hope she is not bringing her 5 kids with her, as they are EXTREMELY unruly...
Here is what I don't understand. Hospice nurse told Taylor that because Jim made the decision to not go into a Hospice facility that despite his rapid decline they can not admit him into there facility, that he will be passing at home. Anyone know if this is true? Jim also has signed a DNR so even if the nurse were there she could do nothing, correct? The end of Jims time on Earth is obviously right around the corner. When he passes what does Taylor do? Few years back they made there final arrangements. He is going to be cremated. Does she just call the company that is going to cremate him and have them come and pick him up? I am really in the dark when it comes to this sort of stuff...
 
I'm pretty sure the cremation folks will need a death certificate before they can cremate him. If the hospice nurse is there when he goes, she may call the coroner or a hospice doctor to pronounce him dead. Taylor or her niece should probably ask the hospice nurse how all of that works.
 
IF he declined to go into thier facility while he was mentally competent, I can't imagine they will let him change his mind UNLESS he is still mentally competent to do so

As for the cremation, its been a while since my father in law died, and that was the only time I had to deal with it

If I remember correctly I called the funeral home and they came and picked him up

The next day, he was cremated, and several days later his cremains (sorry, thier term) were delivered to us

The wife tells me that unless you have a particular religious conviction that YOU need to be the one who pushes the button, they will not let you into the crematorium
(It appears some Asian religions require a relative to be the one to push the button)


Don't be afraid to ask the hospice nurses these things
Thier job is not just dealing with the patient, but also preparing thier loved ones, and if you ask them, you may get answers to questions you didn't even realize you needed to ask
 
Taylor just called. Hospice was there the past 2 days. His blood pressure was 90/70 yesterday, today it was 70/50. Nurse told her that she doubts he will make it thru the weekend. Nurse told her when he passes that she needs to call them, they will call the mortuary (?) Where he will be cremated.
 
I promise you and everyone here I will not be the burden on my wife that this POS was to his wife. Not will I waste everything my wife and I worked for to prolong the inevitable should that ever be the case. I have a plan B.
 
Up here the call has to be made to coroner. At hospital that would be taken care of. Grampa died at home, Gramma called their family doctor and he made the call(s)
Or just call the cops.
 
Sorry for your loss. Hopefully all involved can come to find some source of normalcy again.
 
I hope you understand stand what I mean, when I say, im glad that is over

Did you figure out how to get the cremation going?
 
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