I've (evidenty) been charged with a Federal Felony!!!!

I tell that one I need to quit smoking and drinking. Jail is the best place to do that. Come and get me.
Back in the summer, I asked one who he wanted to talk to. He said my name.
I said damn I need to write that down.
Hes like huh?
Me , "I'm sitting on the toilet and I see my shorts say RUSSELL and my underwear say George. I didn't know if I was George Russell or Russell George. So how do I spell Bani?" (Thats Benny with his accent). Conversation ended.
You have to be careful how long you stay on the line with them though. Some of them know how to reverse the charges. A couple years ago I got a call from Kingston Jamaica. I gave him a lot of bogus info, name, birthdate, SS#, and more. That call showed up on my phone bill. I spent more time on the phone with AT&T to clear it.