Stop in for a cup of coffee

Speaking of life support. Let’s say you have an engine that is smoking a few minutes after starting. PCV valve replaced, compression tested in each cylinder was within a couple points of the high side of the factory spec, fouling plugs. Push rods are fine, cam looks ok. Valve lashes check, all good. No water in oil or vice versa. Vacuum is reading in the green.

I’m thinking valve stem seals from sitting for who knows how long
Time for(A) valve job
(B) umbrella seals