Battery relocation for HANDLING (not drag) - best spot to mount?

Since 1999, my car has never had a jack, nor a spare, nor horns. In years gone by, if I pulled over and popped my hood; there would be a guy with a truck stopped behind me almost as soon as the hood was up. I love that about this country, and driving the same hi-viz car for so many years.
In all those years I only ever had one flat. And wouldn't you know it, it was the only time my wife and I ever cruised together. I don't think we made it walking a hundred feet, and along came a total stranger, who drove 7 miles out of his way, to drop us at our door. What a great place to live.
Jacks, spares, and horns are dead weight to me. The folding back seat too, I think that beast was 72 pounds.
Pop-quiz;
You know why the battery is under the hood? So that when you hit something at speed, it doesn't come flying at the back of your head, lol.
When I put my battery in the trunk, I bought a dry-cell type and bolted it down on the Pside. I already had bit of a reputation for getting into trouble, so I didn't want to be worrying about that sucker coming loose. As it turns out, a Barracuda is not a Swinger, and mine has been very good to me; no crashes, and has never left the road. Probably not having E70-14 polyglass tires might have something to do with it.