DAMN sometimes I am dense---genset hookup

I thought that to do it right you have to have a disconnect that opens both feeds and the neutral. If you just open the main breaker there is still a path to the transformer through the neutral wire

There is no such thing as a (dedicated) neutral to the transformer. The neutral and ground amount to the same thing when it leaves the box. Actual dirt ground, "the ground stake," the neutral buss in the box, the green grounding bus, the metal box of the fuse panel, are ALL connected to the bare neutral/ ground wire going to the transformer, which is grounded to "ground" by means of a conductor down the pole. There is in fact NO POSSIBLE WAY to isolate the neutral from the green ground at the main panel. It is NEVER switched, and NEVER fused or breakered