What's Your Best Laxitive?

So about 15 years ago I'm working with a friend at his company doing some high-rise window repair at this hospital on a weekend on one of those big lifts that shoots you up four stories... we go have lunch and I'm trying to tell him that I can't eat that kind of food McDonald's Jack in the box but he insists that it's cheap and we need to get something to eat and get back to work. I'm telling you I warned him...
We get back to work get our rain clothes on get our safety harnesses on to attach your cells to this lift and head on up to the fourth floor it takes about 3 4 5 minutes for this thing to buzz all the way up. We don't work for 3 minutes I'm like oh god! We got to go down now! He's like just a minute I'm going to finish doing this caulking on this window I'm like no I grabbed the controls and start buzzing down he almost falls out LOL...
He goes okay and comes over and runs the controls to continue buzzing us down as I'm taking my harness off undoing my rain gear and preparing for the inevitable. We get down to within 10 feet of the ground and I'm already ready to jump!...
We're close to the side door so I run over there well semi run over there... And the doors are locked!.. crap!.. (pun intended..)
So I do this half walk half run pinching my cheeks waddle all the way around the building to the emergency entrance of the hospital.. (again pun intended!!..)
I go in and see the indication for the men's bathroom and make my way as quickly as human possible without trouble... I go into the bathroom around this little 5-ft corridor and there's nobody in there and there's a crapper stall a urinal and a sink and I go into the crapper stall turn around just in time hook my thumbs on my pants and miss my underwear and sit down and fill up my underwear on top of the toilet....
Instantly I'm in huge trouble here!.. so now I'm trying to defy gravity and attempting to do some origami yoga moves to remove a leg from my underwear while still not letting them leave the space above the toilet...
What's this!? The toilet just flushed?!... However I did it I was able to get both legs out and the toilet flushed again!?...
I look behind me and it has the automatic seeing eye that flushes at... At this point the underwear clog the toilet and the water starts rising!... It wasn't too long before a couple more flushes and it overflowed onto the floor we're at that time I had to give a heavy kick to my pants that were now laying on the floor out of the stall area so they didn't get soaking wet... Now is where you start praying that nobody comes in!... I finally do the best wipe job I can muster up with about every bit of toilet paper and where to put it I don't know because the toilet keeps flushing and overflowing and flooding the entire bathroom... now instead of running for my pants I run for the door to look out into the hallway to see if anybody's coming! Nobody's coming...
I do the best I can at the sink to clean myself and my legs the best I can...
I should move back to say that I came in the building just in my socks cuz I had already kicked off my rain boots...
Socks are now throw away they're wet...
I gathered my pants up and put them on and again ran to the door to look out nobody's coming...
I go back and do a little bit more washing look behind me and the whole entire bathroom is a hazmat catastrophe....
I go back to my partner tell him all this and we get back up on the left and he says I smell terrible!.. we end up packing up early and going home and he makes me sit on a plastic bag in the middle of his van in the back all the way home...
needless to say I've never been back to Jack in The box since and don't do McDonald's either...
The first time I told that story it was to my best friend's wife and she kept begging me to stop as she was laying on the ground holding her side laughing so hard she was ready to pass out....