How to fix engine tick

1. Add engine oil
2. Replace that engine oil with thicker engine oil
3. Add STP dying engine goop and other assorted snake oils
4. Turn up the radio and ignore for a minimum of 6 months
5. Remove a single head and inspect every lifter except for the one that's stuck in the hole
6. Reassemble and hide surplus fasteners
7. Take it to a mechanic, proclaiming "I've tried nothing, and I'm all out of ideas"
8. Baulk at the discount shop rate. You already tried to fix it, and fucked it up
9. Limp home to remove heads, replacing the camshaft and single faulty lifter
10. In an ill-conceived effort to economize legal tender, reuse torque-to-yield head bolts
11. Complain to all that your brand new head gaskets are leaking
12. Repeat bi-annually until a new set of used tires is worth more than the truck