Anybody Else Write Music?

I’ll raise my hand. Guilty. A few weeks ago I was the guy who showed up at rehearsal, the day of service, and was not prepared. The worship pastor called me out, not by name, but I knew what it was. I felt horrible. Wound up getting through worship fine, I would seriously doubt anyone would know. But I knew and the rest of the team knew... and if I were to post the video, you would know too, because I’m in concentration, worried about it and it was all over my face, and not in worship. I decided to remove myself until an opportunity opens where I can dedicate myself to studying the songs.
Its tough, I haven't played really since April, other than "noodling".
it is difficult if it isn't what you want to play, take covers, yeah i can play country but i don't want to, if I am forced to I don't want to bother learning the song.
So its like I'm in a band but taken out of my element to play what say, the drummer wants to play. we had an unwritten rule, "you suggest it, you sing it" we didn't have a dedicated front person. Just 3 piece with all of us splitting vocals. It turned out I did lead or backup vocal on half the set though.

hang in there, once you learn "the set" you know it, than all you have to do is learn the "new" songs as they are added in.