Might offend some!

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I was in junior high and told a kid a few Jew jokes. He then tells me he's Jewish. Lump in the throat and stammering an apology, he then went on to tell me a string of terribly offensive Jew jokes. I laughed my *** off, wish I remembered them. If you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at.

You know how copper wire was invented? Two Jews fighting over a penny

An Israeli car company developed a car that could not only stop on a dime, but it would also pick it up
 
Top 10 reasons it's good to be Italian.
10. In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes.

9. Not embarrassed to wear fur.

8. No need to worry about tax returns.

7. Glorious military history...

6. ...well, until about 400 a.d.

5. Can wear sunglasses inside.

4. Political stability.

3. Flexible working hours.

2. Live near the Pope.

1. Country run by Sicilian murderers.
 
good old days.jpg
 
How does a Chinaman name his children.
He carefully places a can on the ground and kicks it.
What ever sounds it makes is the child's name.
Bing bang bonk.
Kling clang bong.
 
I was in junior high and told a kid a few Jew jokes. He then tells me he's Jewish. Lump in the throat and stammering an apology, he then went on to tell me a string of terribly offensive Jew jokes. I laughed my *** off, wish I remembered them. If you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at.
What's the most dreaded thing to hear in a concentration camp?
Alright everyone into the showers and no smoking, we don't need any more explosions.
 
How do you get your wife to scream uncontrollably twice during sex? When you get done wipe your Dick off on the curtains!
 
You have full beer truck out for delivery and break down with a flat and no jack
A car pulls up with two Irishmen who offer to help for beer. How much do
they drink.















All of it.
 
Now, let’s be inclusive.

‘Tis true regardless of race, denomination, or ethnicity.
Yep. The first time I heard that one, many years ago, the question was "How do you get a Catholic girl to stop blowing you?"
 
What does Tony Roma's and Auschwitz have in common?

They're both famous for their ribs.
 
What's the difference between a Hoover and a Harley?
You can only get one dirt bag on a Hoover.

What's the difference between a blonde and a washing machine?
If you throw a load in a washing machine, it doesn't follow you around for a week.

What's black and white and red all over and has trouble getting through a revolving door?
A nun with a spear through her head.
 
What’s the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?

The porcupine has the prick on the outside.
 
What’s rodeo sex?
When screwing your wife, call her by her sister’s name, and try to hang on for six seconds!
 
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