I put it into gear and it dies.

how do you pop them out? just push on them from the front?
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The female terminals have a barb on the backs.
To remove the females, use a flattened cotter pin, tiny screw driver, or the tool they make for it to depress the tab while pushing it out.
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Those above are Packard 56 but Chrysler ones work the same way/
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Sometimes they are interchangable. Sometimes not and they won't fit in or they will be too loose in the connector made for the other.
When installing them make sure the locking tab is raised.

Del has some good pics here
Removing connections from bulkhead!