Thursday a week ago I lost one of my kitty cats

Two weekends ago my little Propane showed signs that something was wrong so I called my local Vet and they couldn’t see him for a week. Wednesday night I was hand feeling him and Thursday I called an emergency Vet hospital 35 miles from me and they said I could bring him in at 3:30. By they I was squinting water into his mouth to give him some fluids. By now he was just laying around and the Vet checked him out. He was very dehydrated and had a low temperature and said they should do blood work. 30 minutes later they came back and said his white blood cell count was terrible. She said he either has a bad trama, possibly a fall or Cancer. She said he could be sent out for further testing and kemo if necessary. He was in bad, very bad shape so I asked if he was in bad pain and she said absolutely. I couldn’t have him living like that so I had him put to sleep. They prepping him and I held him privately for 30 minutes they they did the procedure while I held him. I had him cremated and I will probably get his ashes next week. I will spread him on the hillside outside where he hung out till I brought him in February 2017. 10 days later and it still hurts. My other three cats have helped a lot getting past this. I love and miss you little buddy. View attachment 1715908519View attachment 1715908520View attachment 1715908521View attachment 1715908522View attachment 1715908523View attachment 1715908524View attachment 1715908525View attachment 1715908526
So sorry to hear. I know how you feel.
I held mine for the same ending. Renal failure. Dunno if she was poisoned, had trauma to the kidneys or what...it showed to be over a long period of time. She was 8. Her sister went into the same except unlike just finding her laying around and sick.. she was diagnosed and put on water injection to hydrate and went on a year or so.
Could have been coyote bait by neighbors...or rodents that were poisoned... I found someone putting gopher poison into gopher holes, my uncle. Told him not to do that, that's what the cats are for. People are so one track minded... oblivious. This is difficult to get over. I had some kittens around that time and I had a hard time accepting them while the other was still sick n living.. but those 2 are still here. 12 yrs old now.. 2 sisters as well babers n munchkin .
Still have framed pic of my cat Peek a boo on our dresser. I called her 'the fastest kitten in the west' now that I'm gettin kinda watery..I'm gonna stop there.
Again, sorry to hear. I know its hard.
I hope that hole in your chest fills in soon.