So very stuck...

Yes, where the rotor is pointing, put a piece of tape on your distributor cap. THAT tower is now the correct #1 cyl. When your at #1 tdc compression, where your rotor points is #1 cyl. firing on cap.
This rotator cap only sit in 1 position on the distributor, it has 2 fitted pieces that keep it one place. Cant rotate it.