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Cranky said

My X was a friend to the kids and I was the one administering the discipline. And I was fairly mild and structured in it and gave the kids choices in how they received the discipline. They didn't get many choices but they got them. Thing is, the oldest figured it out while the two younger ones never did. They always went running to mommy friend.....and I never hear from the two youngest.

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That’s rough when the other half plays devil advocate bucking your ruling and giving into the kids or just simply siding with them. My daughter tried to play both parents which did t last long at all. Once it was realized, the wife and I got together and said who ever made the rule first, or the yes or no answer was to be obeyed period.

I did give the kids a platform on which to “Constructively argue there wish or point.” Which helped there critical thinking and verbal skills. I lost once, she made sense and argued her side well. So she got a cell phone. We put a tracker on it and it was fine with her. Even paid off once in a “can you come pick me up, my friends are being stupid.” She was texacy sure where she was so I just stay out, I got you.
So it was a win win.

Both parents have to be on the same page and agree on how things get done. We didn’t pull the “Be wise Daddy says so.” Card, we just explained most of the time. If my daughter was playing *****, it was a “We said so or else!” And that got her Fanny moving right quick!