OK, I have a data point. Luckily, my pot coupler was powder coated, so the wear pattern inside where the shoes rub was very easy to see/measure, all four tracks are 23 mm long. The edge of the shoe that rubs there is 21 mm long. 23 mm - 21 mm = 2 mm So, that means the flex my system was seeing at most 2mm up and down the steering axis (more likely 1 mm up and down from a central shoe position). No way those splines would pull out of the U-joint.
I'd be curious to see if anyone else has made this measurement and what the numbers look like.
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