Bulkhead connector

All I have ever used is some small cheap screwdriver, typical of the Radio Sh*t Shack "jewelers" kits you can buy




Sometimes on the male tabs, I use needle nose. Pull the male end "out" on the terminal end to pull the tab/ tong away from the connector a bit, and then gently squeeze the thing "edgewise" to bend the tab inwards a biit.

You can see here how this works