1984 Ram Crank No Start

I have not been pumping the gas pedal at all.
It takes 1 pump and it starts right up, since day 1, any day, any weather/temperature.

I gave it 1 pump this morning and that was it, even after multiple attempts to start. Came back in the afternoon, I gave a small pump at the carb to make sure it was getting fuel.

I even pulled all the plugs to make sure it wasn't flooded in any way, that was when I broke 1 plug the first day.

Today, when checking for tdc, I stuffed a rag in #1 to get it close with the key and it shot it out with a blast.

I checked the oil today as well, gave the dipstick a sniff, no gas.

Completely baffled.
Beginning to think it is sparking intermittently, everytime I check it sparks, then it isn't when I try to start it, and it's effing with me.

I don't beat this truck, drive it occasionally, limited really, engine is rebuilt 9k ago, reliable, runs strong.

I've got gas, spark, air, compression, timing, voltage, distributor spins, etc.

No disrespect to anyone making suggestions as I pull my hair out over here.

I'm going to get a cap and rotor tomorrow, kiss principal.

If it's not something simple, it's intermittent, either way completely unrelated to me spraying it with water.
Prior owner put dielectric grease on everything.

Late night rant to myself over.