Timing Cover Coolant Leak I've Never Seen Before

Oil sits on water. As you pull the dipstick out the water being less viscous might be washed off the dipstick.

There is a possibility that the oil pan and or pickup is rusted.

When you had the cover off what did the visible iron look like oily, clean, rusted?
The iron behind the timing chain cover was clean of water for the most part. There was no condensation droplets. There was the smallest bit of rust on one tooth space at the very top of the timing chain on the cam gear. The front wall of the motor is completely free of rust. There was still wet "oil" on the end of the oil drizzler beneath the cam gear. After a quick spray with carb cleaner to wash any residue away and to clean the gasket surface, you would never guess there was a water/antifreeze leak into that area. Of course the timing chain stretch tells me the 99k+ on the odometer is at least 199k but we are going to pretend we didn't see that for the time being.