Little prick turfed my yard last night.

You can't mess with his car without making your own car a target. At least, not unless you wait until some time has passed. A better solution, if you know who he is and you know his address and phone number (easy to find in the computer age) is to place an ad in the local paper selling his car for about half of what it is worth. Say in the add that you work shift work so calls should be made between midnight and 5 am. Not only will he be majorly pissed off for some time but anyone that lives with him will hate him, and a week or two later he will get a bill for the ad. Don't call to place the ad from your phone, just in case.

If this keeps happening and you REALLY want to mess with him, buy some really nasty porno magazines. Print up some labels with his name and address that look like subscription labels and put them on the covers. Distribute the magazines around town in inconvenient places like doctor's offices, the library, you know, use your imagination.

Yes, I would be a bad person to piss off. Thankfully, no one has. Yet.