1976 wife

Doesn't sound like you're much of a salesman. You're not supposed to tell all the bad stuff that goes with the deal.

I wouldn't encourage you to lie about anything, but maybe you could embelish things a bit, like:

Early model with low mileage
When last checked, everything still worked
Exhaust has a menacing growl
Will have carpet cleaned before deal is struck

Heck, when you hear it put that way, maybe you should reconsider....

Jerry