what am i doing wrong

You do have the torsion adjusting bolts backed off, and take shock off and yes it will be hard to move the lower control arm because your lifting all the weight of the spindle and drum/rotor. The bars are marked L and R make sure you have them in the correct side. I also install them with the Lor R to the rear. Don't be scared to tap on them from the rear to get them in, they're not that fragile.