I don't get it

Me and the wife went to counseling, we had a money issue. We came up with a solution and a budget. The counselor decided that we need a joint account and we both should have a spending account for our own stuff. I agreed cause she has controlled the money since day one. I don't understand if I get paid every week why am I'm questioned about spending 40 bucks if I chose to. Everything is fine for me and she makes the most money out of the household, so she would make out better in the whole situation. But if I spend money on my duster it is a issue all my bills are paid, and the household stuff is taken care of. Knowing that if I came to her and said hey I need money for this and that it would not happen. Now I'm in control I can handle it and I know what is coming in and what is going out. I just don't get it...............